Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles

Singletude is a positive, supportive singles blog about life choices for the new single majority. It's about dating and relationships, yes, but it's also about the other 90% of your life--family, friends, career, hobbies--and flying solo and sane in this crazy, coupled world. Singletude isn't about denying loneliness. It's about realizing that whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, this single life is your life to live.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Singles in the News: 8/30/09-9/5/09

It's interesting how themes crop up in every week's current events. This week, single women feature prominently in "Singles in the News."


"Ten Important Research Findings on Marriage and Choosing a Marriage Partner"
By Spencer DeGraw
Summary: About five of them are helpful. The other half are grossly inaccurate or misleading. See if you can figure out which ones are which in this close runner-up for the Singleschmucker.


"Of 13 Million Abortions in China, Most Are Forced, Says Expert"
By Vicky Jiang
The Epoch Times
Summary: Single women are among the demographics most frequently coerced into unwanted abortions in China due to the country's one-child policy. This frightening article lifts the curtain on a veiled practice that inflicts untold physical and emotional trauma on single mothers and couples with "too many" children.


"Cougar Town: 2009 Fall TV Preview"
By Kelly West
Summary: Cougar Town, a new show about a freshly single mom who must re-enter the dating scene alone, debuts on ABC this fall. Watch a clip here.

"Financial Advice for Suddenly Single Women"
Summary: Chicago's ABC affiliate interviews Beverly Tobocman, author of Now That He's Gone: A Financial Therapist's Guide to Life After Loss. Written for women who have recently lost a spouse through death or divorce, the book outlines the three most important questions that the newly single should ask about their financial resources, the three professional advisers they should have in their lives, and a recipe for emotional healing that includes building a community support network and cultivating thankfulness. Much of this sound advice could apply to always-single women and single men, as well. A strong contender for the Singles With Singletude Award.

Singleschmucker Award
"From MILF to MILM (Mother I'd Like to Marry)"
By Dr. Wendy Walsh
Summary: Okay, we get it. The author is a single mom by circumstance and wishes she wasn't. That's fine. But that's no reason to slyly cast doubt on whether her friends are single by choice, as she does with the qualifier, "at least that's what they tell me." It's also no reason to dispense lousy relationship advice to other single women. For instance, she endorses one wife's method of "helping her husband feel like a king in his own household," her goal "to make herself indispensable, and to remind him how valuable he is." No word on whether her husband lets her rule with him. Maybe he just likes having an unpaid attendant. Then she hypes her book, The Girlfriend Test: A Quiz for Women Who Want to Be a Better Date and a Better Mate, reinforcing the time-honored tradition of separating single women into the ones you wed and the ones you bed. Of the 100 attached males she interviewed for the book, she says, they overwhelmingly did not want women who were "'too independent.'" So there you have it, ladies. If you want to find a man, pretend to be incompetent--but not too incompetent since you'll need to make yourself indispensable around the house while you're dusting off his throne. What makes this article even more of an affront is that it's written by a psychologist. Please, if you have the weight of a PhD behind your words, speak prudently, or you too may find yourself awarded a Singleschmucker.

"No Place for a Woman"
By Trisha Elliott
Summary: Although homeless single men still outnumber single women in Canada three to one, single women are the fastest growing homeless demographic. They also represent a qualitatively different population of homeless; single women are more likely to be on the streets because of domestic violence or inadequate income, while single men land there due to job loss, substance abuse, or release from the prison or hospital systems. The consequences of homelessness can also be more dire for single women, as evidenced by a study which found that 37% of homeless women in Toronto had been physically attacked and 21% sexually assaulted. Perhaps worse, many women who aren't officially counted as "homeless" endure repeated abuse by male partners or family members so they can keep a roof over their heads. Prepare for this article to challenge the conventional wisdom that you may have bought into about homeless women.

"Single-minded Entrepreneur: Bethenny Frankel"
By Paula Santonocito
Summary: Reality TV star Bethenny Frankel gives some inspirational though not particularly practical advice on becoming a self-made single woman. Could that be because most of her capital stems from a wealthy ex-husband, not her own blood, sweat, and tears? Her book, Naturally Thin, is a bestseller because she has face recognition from The Real Housewives of New York City and The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. Self-made celeb? Yes. Entrepreneur? Not so much.


"5 Things Single Women Can't Resist"
By Melissa Noble
Summary: Nothing wrong with these tips to help single men successfully take on the bar scene, but for no discernible reason, the author insists on working in that shoddy study about how single women supposedly prefer married men ("Singles in the News: 89/09-8/15/09"). Honey, not only did that study have some significant design flaws, but it had nothing to do with marriage or married men, period. Get your facts straight.

"County Renews Homeless Voucher Program"
Lake Stevens Journal
By Christopher Schwarzen
Summary: Snohomish County in Washington prioritizes single adults and single parents in its fight against homelessness.

"Rhode Island Governor Defends Speech at Anti-gay Marriage Event"
Summary: Rhode Island governor Don Carcieri spreads misinformation about children raised in single-parent, unwed-parent, and same-sex parent homes.

"Why Women Stay in Bad Relationships"
By Danielle Skinner
The LU Gazette Online Edition
Summary: A great big "amen" to the columnist's reminder that "IT IS OKAY TO BE ALONE"! This short but sweet article urges women to gather their self-esteem, stop settling, and ditch abusive men because, after all, being alone isn't so bad when you have you on your side. (This applies to men in unhealthy relationships, too!)


"20 Questions to Ask a Matchmaker"
By Melinda Maximova
Summary: An interview with San Francisco matchmaking service Perfect Search provides an overview of the professional matchmaking process and answers typical client questions.

"85% of Single Men Would Date Heavy Women; 90% of Single Women Feel Men Can't See Past a Few Extra Pounds, States"
PR Newswire
Summary: According to a survey conducted jointly by,, and, while 90% of single women think extra weight makes them unattractive to men, 85% of single men agree with the statement that "a couple of extra pounds is fine by me." However, it should be noted that what constitutes "a couple of extra pounds" can vary greatly from person to person. In fact, some of these numbers don't add up. The press release claims that 79.9% of single men placed no limits on size, with love the only deciding factor. Yet 63.8% said "a couple of pounds" was the max and that girlfriend contenders "should be working on losing it." I'm no math major, but didn't we exceed 100% long ago? Similarly confusing results from the single ladies claim that 87.6% gave an unequivocal yes to the prospect of dating a "bigger guy," but 74.3% said it "depends on how overweight he is," and another 29.8% said no way, Jose. This, ladies and gents, is why matchmaking services should stick to matchmaking and leave the research to the academics.

"Interview: Liz Verney on the Upper Valley Haven Expansion"
Summary: Vermont Public Radio interviews the director of a homeless shelter about the creation of a new facility for single, childless adults.

"Japan's Economic Downturn Pushes More Onto Streets"
By Peter Ford
The Christian Science Monitor
Summary: Single guys, think you have it bad in the American recession? In Japan, where one-sixth of the population lives in poverty, single men are swelling the ranks of the homeless, and the state is "notoriously reluctant" to provide aid to the unmarried. "When you fall out of the safety net in Japan, you wouldn't believe what is not available," says one philanthropist.

"Miss Cougar USA Crowned in California"
By Jeffery
Summary: A report on the first Annual Cougar Convention notes that single men outnumbered women five to one.


"Destination: Destiny"
By Jody Yetti
Summary: Are you a single woman (or single man, for that matter) who loves to travel but can't afford the life of a jet-setter? Relax. Most of us can't. But by traveling during the off-season, using frequent flier miles, choosing modest accommodations, and cutting our stays short, we singles can make a little money go a long way--all the way around the world.

"Institute for Women's Policy Research News Release--Labor Day Not So Celebratory for Many Women"
Summary: The Bureau of Labor Statistics has announced that 12.2% of single moms are unemployed. Compare that to 8.9% of all women and 10.2% of all men. What's more, the unemployment rate for single women with children is increasing faster than in the general population. To combat this state of affairs, the Institute for Women's Policy Research recommends promoting subsidized daycare, family-friendly work environments, education and job training for women, anti-discrimination legislation, and unionization. Another runner-up for the Singles With Singletude Award, but the winner is...

Singles With Singletude Award
"On Labor Day and Every Workday, Single Women Struggle to Stay Even"
By Page Gardner
The Huffington Post
Summary: With an unemployment rate of 11.9% as compared to 9.7% in the general population, single women are the big losers in this recession. And they were disadvantaged from the beginning, earning just 57 cents for every dollar earned by a married man. Citing power in numbers, Gardner backs unionization as a robust solution to advance economic opportunities for single women, who make approximately $2.00 an hour more with union membership and are significantly more likely to have health insurance and pensions. In a strong field this week, this article edges out the competition for the Singles With Singletude Award because it refutes the media-driven misconception that all women are striding ahead of all men in this recession. Singles are not, and since they have no second income to fall back on, they are the ones most at risk.

Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)

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