Poll: What Parts of Singletude Do You Like Most and What Would You Like to See More Of?

At the end of the Grimm Brothers story "Clever Elsie," the titular heroine runs off into the night, never to be heard from again. I ran off into the night, too, but the writer in me couldn't end the story there. So, after an unexpected, almost two-month hiatus from Singletude, I'm back again. I don't want to raise false expectations, though--I may not be "back for good" yet.

In February, I was given an opportunity to invest some time in a big creative project that I'd been wanting to work on for a long while. One of the things I've learned since my health took a turn for the worse last September is that nothing important should be postponed till "someday" because someday might never arrive. So I've been hard at work on this creative project for over a month, and I expect to continue it throughout April and maybe into May. Chances are I won't be too active on Singletude during that time.

However, I wanted to give you a heads-up, dear readers, and while I'm here, I'm going to squeeze in a long-overdue post. Specifically, I'm getting tired of that poll staring me in the face every time I point my browser to Singletude, aren't you? I mean, it's so 2009! ;) So today I'm writing up the results:



Poll: "What parts of Singletude do you like most? (Choose all that apply.)"


Living Single: Tips and Tricks
61% (16)

Family and Social Life
50% (13)

Psychology
38% (10)

Singles in the News
34% (9)

Advice Q & A
30% (8)

Career
30% (8)

Finance
26% (7)

Philosophy
26% (7)

Responses to Articles
26% (7)

Culture
23% (6)

Health
23% (6)

Reader Comments
23% (6)

Interviews
19% (5)

Politics
19% (5)

Statistics and Research
19% (5)

Reviews
15% (4)

Spirituality
15% (4)

Giveaway Contests
3% (1)


"What would you like to see more of on Singletude? (Choose all that apply.)"


Platonic Relationships--I'd like to see more about relationships with family, friends, co-workers, roommates, and others who aren't romantic or sexual partners.
42% (8)

Psychology--I'd like to see more about mental, emotional, and behavioral health for singles and psychological studies of interest to singles.
42% (8)

Tips and Tricks--I'd like to see more tips, tricks, how-to's, and practical suggestions for living life as a single.
42% (8)

Advice Q & A--I'd like to see more reader questions and responses.
31% (6)

Culture--I'd like to see more about the portrayal of singles in mainstream culture and cultural trends that affect singles.
31% (6)

Spirituality--I'd like to see more about spiritual health for singles and spiritual beliefs and practices as they influence and are influenced by singles.
31% (6)

News--I'd like to see more breaking news of interest to singles.
25% (5)

Sound-offs--I'd like to see more rants and raves about single life from readers.
25% (5)

Career--I'd like to see more about singles in the workplace.
21% (4)

Health--I'd like to see more about health care, healthy living, and other health issues that concern singles.
21% (4)

Interviews--I'd like to see more interviews with singles who do cool things and people who are making a difference in the lives of singles.
21% (4)

Philosophy--I'd like to see more posts that explore topical ideas and issues relevant to singles and singleness.
21% (4)

Finance--I'd like to see more about financial planning and economic issues pertaining to singles.
15% (3)

Politics--I'd like to see more about legislation and political issues that affect singles.
15% (3)

Reader Discussion--I'd like to see more reader comments and discussion.
15% (3)

Responses to Articles--I'd like to see more commentary on noteworthy articles published elsewhere on the Web.
15% (3)

Statistics and Research--I'd like to see more of the latest research and data on singles.
15% (3)

Dating Relationships--I'd like to see more about dating and romantic or sexual relationships.
5% (1)

Reviews--I'd like to see more reviews of books, movies, products, or resources of interest to singles.
5% (1)

Giveaway Contests--I'd like to see more free giveaways.
0% (0)



A big thank-you to everyone who took the time to respond to this poll! I wanted to get a sense of what regular readers like about Singletude and what you would like to see more of in the future so the blog can better meet your needs. This gives me food for thought, and I look forward to addressing more of the topics that proved popular in the poll.

To summarize, 26 readers answered the first poll question, and 19 readers answered the second. "Living Single: Tips and Tricks" was both the category that readers most liked and one of the top three categories that you wanted to see more of. The "Family and Social Life" and "Psychology" categories were voted second and third most popular and tied with "Living Single" for subjects that readers most want to explore in the future. To me, at least, this suggests that Singletude readers are most interested in how singleness affects them on a personal level. In other words, you're looking for information and practical advice that will help you cope with and maximize the day-to-day realities of living alone. In particular, you're concerned with how singleness affects your relationship with yourself and with others. In contrast, Singletude readers aren't as interested in abstract concepts like politics and research, which you may not believe have a direct bearing on your life.

Notably, although the Singletude audience as a whole is quite interested in reading about relationships, you're not so keen on dating and romance. Maybe that's because the Web is already saturated with information about these topics, or perhaps readers of this blog are just less interested in dating themselves. Whatever the case, I think it's further proof that "love" is NOT priority number one on every single's list and that, on the contrary, many singles enjoy richly fulfilling social lives without it.

On a final note, for those of you who indicated an interest in "Singletude Q&A" and "Singletude Sound-off," please remember that these are contributed columns that need reader questions and reader rants and raves. At the bottom of every post is an open call for submissions for both of these columns. If you like them, please consider submitting your own question or your own rant or rave about any aspect of single life.

Thanks again to everyone who reads this blog, whether you stop in regularly or just once in a blue moon. Each and every one of you is appreciated! Because of your feedback, Singletude can grow into a blog that increasingly reflects your own interests and concerns.


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Who Wants a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer and...Where Is Singletude These Days?

Today I was supposed to announce the winner of the latest Singletude giveaway contest for a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer, but there's one little problem--no one seems to want the prize! I'm kind of surprised. While it's not a very expensive item (it's worth about $24.99), it's useful, totally free, and easy to re-gift if necessary, and the giveaway required nothing more than a comment to enter. If the poll above is any indication, maybe you guys are just not into blog contests. So, this may be the last one. The mixer was intended to be my Christmas present to readers for your loyalty these past two years, so I will give it to the first person who comments on this post by 12/26/09 at 11:00 PM saying that he or she wants it. If no one is interested...well, then I guess it'll be my Christmas present to myself!

In other news, some of you may be wondering about the fate of "Singles in the News" this week. Actually, so am I! And if you're missing the topical mid-week posts, well, I miss them, too. In the past month, the number of articles about singles issues has literally doubled. Last week, I was receiving up to 40 stories a day to read, select, and summarize! While I'm thrilled that single people are getting so much coverage in the media lately, I'm spending upwards of 15 hours a week just on "Singles in the News." Without some major source of funding stepping out of the woodwork to rescue it, I'm sad to say that that's not something I can continue.

Thanks to the wonders of Google Analytics, I know that "Singles in the News" remains the most popular column on Singletude, and maybe I'm kidding myself, but I think it provides a service of some value, so I would hate to discontinue it. I'm currently mulling over ways to condense it while preserving its purpose and unique character. But I want to blog on other topics, as well, and right now "Singles in the News" is consuming so much time that there is none left for anything else. Perhaps there's someone out there who is equally passionate about singles issues and would be interested in joining forces to work on "Singles in the News"?

In the meantime, there will still be a "Singles in the News" column for last week (12/13/09-12/19/09), but, as you can see, its publication will be delayed. With the Christmas holiday upon us, I don't know if there will be a "Singles in the News" for this week (12/20/09-12/26/09) or not.

Thank you for your patience as I wrestle with how to reconcile what I would like to do with the limits of free time available to me to do it. I appreciate your support and very much hope that I can find a way for "Singles in the News" to continue alongside other blog articles about topics of importance to the single community.


Want to stay current on changes in the world that impact singles? Read the latest news about singles every day! Check out the Singletude newsreader under Singles in the News on the homepage!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Win a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer from SingleEdition.com: A Singletude Contest

As promised, Singletude has a new giveaway contest beginning today! Just consider this a Christmas (or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.) gift to you for your loyal readership.

In partnership with SingleEdition.com, Singletude is offering a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer with a suggested retail value of $24.99. (You can also order it for just $14.41 from Amazon.) The two-speed, 200-watt, hand-held mixer is billed as the perfect solution for blending soup, sauce, batter, milkshakes, smoothies, and really anything else you can think of. It has a detachable stainless-steel blade and is heat resistant and dishwasher safe.

The Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer is a thank-you gift to Singletude readers, so you don't have to do anything special to enter this giveaway contest. All you have to do is one of the following:


1. Leave a comment on this post telling Singletude why you're thankful to be single. Be sure to mention that you want to enter the giveaway! You won't automatically be entered in the drawing unless you specify that you want to be.

2. Write to Singletude explaining why you're thankful to be single in as many words as you want. Again, be sure to mention that you want to enter the giveaway! Also, please specify whether or not you would like your submission to be published on Singletude.


If you want to inform others about this giveaway contest on your own blog, web site, or social networking profile, your help in getting the word out is appreciated, but it's not a requirement for entry.

Entrants must reside in the United States to qualify for free shipping. Entrants outside the United States must pay all shipping charges. (Sorry! The box is heavy, and I can't afford to ship it outside the U.S.)

The winner of the giveaway will be drawn at random on 12/23/09 at noon and announced on the same day. That means you have just over three weeks to enter the contest, so enter right away!

If the winner has submitted an entry by email, Singletude will contact the winner to request a shipping address. If the winner has submitted an entry in the comments section of this post, it will be his or her responsibility to contact Singletude with a shipping address. If the winner does not respond to claim the prize within 10 days, he or she will forfeit the prize, and another winner will be randomly drawn.

Remember, you have just 25 days to enter the Singletude giveaway contest for your chance to win the Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer, so enter now!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"!

A Note From Singletude

Well, as you can see, I didn't survive last week's surgical procedure and am blogging from six feet under. Amazing how good wireless reception is these days!

Seriously, the procedure went well, and I'm back to blogging. However, it confirmed that I do have a chronic condition, which does make it hard to sit up at the computer for long periods of time. There is a chance for complete recovery, but it won't be for a long time, and it isn't guaranteed. So I will have to take it week by week and see how much I'm able to get done amidst the lifestyle changes that are heading my way. I may have to scale back "Singles in the News" to make it a shorter feature.

Thanks to everyone who kept me in their thoughts while I've been sick! I really appreciate all your good wishes and expressions of concern. The show will go on at Singletude, albeit at a slower pace. I hope you'll stick around! I love all my readers, and there's a lot more good stuff on the way!

Announcing the Winner of the Singletude Giveaway Contest

The first Singletude giveaway contest ended today with a random drawing at noon. And the winner is...Lauren of New York, NY! Lauren has already received an email notifying her of her win. For her contest entry, she submitted some awesome questions, several of which Singletude will be addressing soon in the "Q&A."

A great big thank-you to everyone who participated in the contest! If you didn't win this time, don't worry! You'll have lots of opportunities to enter future giveaways.

Thanks also go out to SingleEdition.com and author Cherie Burbach for donating the prizes.

Check back soon for the "Singles in the News" roundup of media coverage from National Singles Week.


Want to stay current on changes in the world that impact singles? Read the latest news about singles every day! Check out the Singletude newsreader under Singles in the News on the homepage!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singletude Giveaway Contest Ends Tomorrow

Today is your last chance to enter the Singletude giveaway contest! The prize is a gift basket from SingleEdition.com worth over $150, so don't miss your opportunity to score these goodies. The lucky winner will be selected in a random drawing tomorrow at noon, so all entries must be in before then.

"Singles in the News" may be delayed this week again. On top of my previously mentioned health issue, I've also now been hit with a nasty flu or virus! The universe has not been my friend this month! Stop back later today, tomorrow (when the contest winner is announced), and Wednesday, though. "Singles in the News" should be up by then if not sooner. There was a lot of great coverage last week since it was National Singles Week!

Singles in the News: The Singletude Newsreader Is Here

Those of you who've been following along with Singletude's Sunday series, "Singles in the News," are no doubt wondering if the media forgot about singles this past week. Actually, there were a number of great articles about the single life, but I was sick and was not able to review them. Unfortunately, this illness is sticking around and still requiring a concerted effort to sit at the computer and focus my thoughts. Hopefully, this will resolve soon, and Singletude will be back on schedule, so watch this space.

In the meantime, there's a newsreader on the Singletude homepage right under Blog Archive, so you can follow along with the latest singles news every day! Just click on the term you want to search--"single women," "single men," or "single adults"--and the magic of Google will return the relevant headlines.

Also, don't forget that the deadline for entering the Singletude giveaway contest is approaching quickly on 9/27/09! To win over $150 in prizes from SingleEdition.com, hurry and enter now!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Win a Gift Basket from SingleEdition.com: A Singletude Contest

Hear ye, hear ye! The first ever Singletude giveaway contest begins today! In partnership with SingleEdition.com, Singletude is offering a singles gift basket valued at over $150! This assortment of fab items for on-the-go singles includes:



1. GO SMiLE Go Travel Kit
(GO SMiLE products also available at Amazon)

Everyone wants bright-white pearlies to flash, especially at sexy summer hot spots. But who can remember to pack whitening strips or gel trays? I know I'm lucky if I can find room for my toothbrush! More importantly, who has time to sit around a hotel room chomping on what looks and feels like a great big horse bit? GO SMiLE eliminates the waiting around and lets you get out and about so you can enjoy your vacation. All you have to do is squeeze the contents of an ampoule onto your teeth and brush! No mess, no hassle, and GO SMiLE says it's completely pain-free for sensitive teeth. This GO SMiLE Go Travel kit makes it more convenient than ever to keep your smile sparkling no matter where you go. The compact travel case with buckle and zipper includes:

*Mint-licious, Peach-licious, & Pear-licious Touch Ups (6 Ampoules)
--Six deliciously flavored ampoules to discreetly and quickly apply after a morning coffee or afternoon tea.
*>RINSE
--A minty-fresh mouth rinse that contains antioxidants for a healthy mouth as well as fluoride and CPC to wash away bad breath and the threat of cavities and gingivitis.
*Lemonade Smile Toothpaste
--A fluoride toothpaste that whitens teeth as it relaxes with aromatherapy oils.
*Travel Toothbrush
--Small enough to carry with you anywhere for fast touch-ups.
*Compact with Mirror
--You don't have to ask your dinner companion if there's anything in your teeth when you have this compact at your side.

(B1 Whitening System not included but fits in travel case.)


2. Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza by Cherie Burbach
(Also available at Amazon)

For every online dating success story, it seems there's a web site full of grumblers ranting about the evils of eHarmony and Match. Here's a thought: maybe success is all in your attitude...okay, and your technique. Burbach, who met her husband online, will help you get both back on track. Look out for Singletude's review of this book next week!

(Book provided by Cherie Burbach.)


3. Revolution Variety Tea Samplers (2 Samplers)
(Revolution Tea also available at Amazon)

There's no time like the summer to kick back with a glass of iced tea. Or wait till fall blusters in and nurse a hot cup while wrapped in your favorite blanket. Whether you're an Earl Grey traditionalist or an organic devotee, if you're a tea lover, you'll find your favorite blend at Revolution. Many of their products are singles-friendly, perfect for one serving. Each sampler pack contains five single-serving flow-through infusers. (Say that five times fast!) The rainbow of flavors includes Earl Grey Lavender Tea, Tropical Green Tea, Golden Chamomile Herbal Tea, Sweet Ginger Peach Tea, and English Breakfast Tea.


4. Table Topics Dating Topics To Go
(Also available at Amazon)
Looking for a fun way to lessen the awkward factor on a first date? Introduce your date to this pack of 40 icebreaking questions and learn something you never thought to ask. Or, if card games aren't your style, use them at home to prep for the big night, then wow your date with your brilliant conversational starters.

Examples:
"What's the most unusual thing you know how to do?"
"Where is your dream home located and what does it look like?"
"Who are your closest friends and what do you most enjoy about them?"
"How would your last girlfriend or boyfriend describe you?" (There's a loaded question!)


5. Intimate Wipes

This blog's PG-13 content policy prevents me from revealing the brand name of these--hee hee--post-coital quick pick-me-ups. These nonalcoholic, hypoallergenic moisturizing wipes contain aloe and vitamin E to keep sensitive areas soft and smooth even as they swab away stickiness. For use in all the conventional locales (on the road, on a plane, at the beach, in bed), as well as some you may want to think twice about, as the package illustrates!


6. Babeland Babelight

It's a keychain! It's a flashlight! It's a...vibrator? Yes, indeed, this versatile gadget does it all when you're dancing in the dark. It's also the perfect size to slip into a travel bag. This blog doesn't link to adult sites, but if you found your way here, you should be able to make it to Babeland without a problem if you want to buy one for yourself.

(Does not include AAA battery.)


7. Naked Winery Merlot or Chardonnay Coupon (1 Coupon)

Cap your next evening out by inviting a date or some friends back to your place to get Naked--Naked wines, that is. Based in the Pacific Northwest's wine country "Fruit Loop," Naked Winery will sweeten your night life with a FREE bottle of your choice of merlot or chardonnay when you order online with this coupon. Naked Winery describes its merlot as "aging in both French and American oak barrels integrated smoothly with its plum and earthy cherry flavors," while the chardonnay is said to have "a soft butterscotch finish" with "notes of pear and melon...accented by some caramel and toasted coconut aromas." Mmmm, a feast for the senses!


8. Fruit2Day 2-pack Coupons (2 Coupons)

Fruit2day fruit snacks defy definition, combining the best of both worlds--juice and whole fruit. I should know--I've tried them. Available in Strawberry Orange, Mango Peach, Pineapple Banana, and Cherry Grape, they bear no resemblance to either smoothies or pulpy breakfast drinks. Instead, they are pure, smooth fruit juice servings overflowing with chunks of fresh fruit. Yep, chunks. Not those annoying shredded pieces in OJ that get stuck between your teeth. Not those grainy bits of V8 that leave a weird residue on the inside of your cup. Imagine dicing up a peach or strawberry, then squeezing its juice over the slices. Now you get the idea! These healthy fruit juice snacks contain just 110-120 calories each but pack two servings of fruit per drink. Their convenient hourglass shape makes it a snap to gauge how many servings you've had. If you're busy--and who isn't?--it's hard to find time to eat five to nine servings of fruit, but if you drink one Fruit2day on your way to work, one at lunch, and one at home, you're all set for the day. Each of these coupons entitles you to a FREE two-pack of Fruit2day!



I have to confess that I was tempted to keep this gift basket for myself, but I really want to reward my loyal Singletude readers. I just wish there were enough baskets for all five of you! Just kidding. I check Singletude's traffic stats and see that there are a lot more of you following along than want to make yourselves known in the comments section! Now is your chance to step out of the woodwork and be recognized for reading faithfully!

To enter the Singletude contest for a chance to win the Single Edition gift basket, worth over $150, you can do any of the following:


1. Write about the Singletude contest on your blog, web site, or social networking profile and link to this post with the text "Singletude giveaway contest."

2. Add Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles to your permanent blogroll or link page.

3. Write about any Singletude blog post that you like on your own blog, web site, or social networking profile, linking back to the post with its title in the link text.

4. Submit any three Singletude posts that you like to your favorite social bookmarking site(s).

5. Submit a rant or rave about the single life that you would like to see appear on Singletude. Your rant or rave of approximately 300-1,500 words can be about any aspect of the single life and can take any tone (eg., humorous, nostalgic, inspirational, sarcastic, etc.), but it should be an original piece of writing that has not appeared elsewhere. All rants and raves will be considered for future publication in "Singletude Sound-off," regardless of the contest winner. Singletude reserves the right to edit submissions before publication.

6. Submit a question that you would like to see answered on Singletude. Questions can be about any aspect of the single life but must be suitable for a general audience. If the question is personal, sufficient background to answer the question should be provided. All questions will be considered for future publication in "Singletude Q&A," regardless of the contest winner. Singletude reserves the right to edit questions before publication.


There is no limit to how many times you can enter the contest. You may enter as many times as you want, in as many ways as you want.

Next, tell Singletude that you entered the contest! Send an email with the subject line "I entered the Singletude contest," point Singletude to your linkback (if relevant), and include your name, city and state, and email address. Submissions to "Singletude Sound-off" or "Singletude Q&A" obviously do not need linkbacks but must still include name, city and state, and email address in order to be entered in the contest. Any Sound-offs or Q&As published on Singletude will not include personally identifying information unless approval is given by the author.

Singletude regrets that links from sites promoting adult, illegal, hateful, or otherwise objectionable content cannot be accepted as entries.

The winner of the giveaway will be drawn at random on 9/28/09. That means you have exactly 60 days to enter the contest, so enter right away!

Singletude will contact the winner at the email address provided to request the winner's shipping address. If the winner does not respond to claim the prize within 10 days, he or she will forfeit the prize, and another winner will be randomly drawn. Once the winner has claimed the prize, the winner's name, city, and state will be announced on Singletude.

Remember, you have just 60 days to enter the Singletude giveaway contest for your chance to win $150 in prizes for active, fun-loving singles, so enter now!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"!

Single by Choice or by Circumstance?

Increasingly, the single population seems to be dividing into two camps--singles by choice and singles by circumstance. Maybe you've noticed it, too. Maybe you've eagerly aligned yourself with one side or the other, or maybe, like me, you've been hesitant to label yourself and even a little concerned about the repercussions of divisive language.

When I started Singletude, I intended to serve both audiences indiscriminately. The idea was not to push singlehood as preferable to marriage or coupledom but to celebrate its unique advantages, as you might celebrate any other stage of life--childhood, adolescence, parenthood, late life. Singletude was designed to meet singles where they were, regardless of how they got there, offering resources, support, and a positive attitude toward the unattached. I believe in making the most of the lives we're given and wanted to help people recognize that, whether or not they chose the single state, they could be happy living it. Furthermore, I hoped to expose discrimination against singles in its many insidious forms and mobilize others to speak out against it.

That said, I don't mind telling you that when I began blogging, I was single by circumstance. I didn't state this overtly because I didn't want to alienate those who were single by choice, although I'm sure some of my posts spoke for me. At the time, I'll admit I even thought that while it was the bees knees to be single, it was their whole honeypot to be married. I had bought into the shoddy popular science that claimed marriage was a panacea for depression, loneliness, ill health, poverty, and socks with open-toed sandals. Moreover, while I firmly believed it was better to be single than sorry, which is more than one can say for a lot of matrimaniacs, a relationship chock-full of chemistry, romance, and commitment was something I very much wanted. And, yes, dear readers, I hoped it would one day lead to marriage.

Go ahead. Lob your tomatoes at me. Just make sure they're fresh-picked organic, please.

I still don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be married. In fact, I think monogamous commitment is the best context in which a relationship can grow. (Yeah, I'm familiar with the argument that we're biologically programmed to hook up with multiple partners, but we're biologically programmed to do lots of things we no longer do, such as spear those we don't get along with.) The desirability of marriage (to some people) does not make the single state undesirable, nor does it make unmarried people any less worthy of the perks and protections currently enjoyed by those who are legally wed. That's what this blog has always been about, not an attempt to glorify the solo lifestyle above all others or convince everyone who wants a mate to repress that longing.

In fact, I'm a little disturbed when I see what I'll call militant singles bashing those who are or hope to be partnered. True, there's a fine line between living with that hope and living for it, and I think that line trips up some well-meaning singles who worry that their peers will put their lives on hold until marriage. But they miss the fact that a single person can have a full, exciting life and yet also want to add a spouse to it, just as he or she might want to add a child or another friend. The difference, I suspect, is that the child and the friend don't provoke our resentment because people aren't rewarded in a way we perceive as unfair when they have children or make new friends. Nevertheless, our justified resentment of singlism should not justify berating singles who seek relationships, whether or not we're interested in the same thing.

I include myself in this reminder because in the past few months, I've crept over the line into the league of singles by choice. I can't tell you when exactly it happened. I didn't desert the ranks of singles by circumstance and make a mad dash for it. It was more the culmination of lessons learned in my third decade of life--not lessons that apply to everyone, but to me. Regretfully, more than once I've caught myself trying to generalize those lessons, to urge other singles off the path to joint filing and his-and-hers wash towels. But that's not right. In pressuring others to conform to my idea of happiness, I'm no different than the majority who insist that I can't be happy single. So, as I find myself changing my stance, I want to recommit myself to representing all singles at this blog, not just those who do or don't want to be.

Nevertheless, the cat is out of the bag now. I have become a single by choice. I hesitated to reveal this because I don't want to be divisive. I don't want singles by circumstance to feel that they aren't welcome here or promote a mindset that some singles are different and better than others. Neither do I want to sign up for a lifetime membership in the single-by-choice club so that I can never change my mind without feeling like I have betrayed someone. But chances are that although I will still cover all topics that I believe are relevant to singles, including dating, there may be times when my own beliefs will influence what I write, whether or not I'm aware of it.

By now you must be itching to find out why I've made a philosophical 180. If so, get some calamine; it must be poison ivy because nothing I have to say is that exciting. :) However, for the gossips, the rubberneckers, and the bored workers waiting for summer hours to kick in, Singletude will dedicate its next entry to the premature demise of my relationship-seeking days.


Have you observed a division in the singles community between those who are single by choice and those who are single by circumstance? If so, what do you think the cause might be, and how should it be addressed?


Fun Link of the Day


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a Singletude Q&A or your rant or rave in a Singletude Sound-off!

Singletude Profiled at Onely

Newsflash! Singletude was profiled today at Onely: Single and Happy as part of their series "Some Like It Single," which features blogs with a pro-singles focus. (There must be an award for stuffing the word "single" into a sentence as many times as I just did, heh heh.) Longtime friends Lisa and Christina, who share blogging duties at Onely, are writerly academics, and it shows in their articulate posts, which will introduce you to such concepts as "heteronormativity" and "singlism." Their blog takes a provocative look at cultural assumptions about singleness, both in their private lives and in the wider spheres of advertising, entertainment, politics, and other American institutions. It will challenge, educate, and enlighten you without ever sacrificing its charming readability.

Please stop in and check out Onely's Singletude review, then stick around for an in-depth exploration of what it means to be single in our coupled world!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a Singletude Q&A or your rant or rave in a Singletude Sound-off!

Singletude Adds to Blogroll

Singletude would like to call your attention to the proliferation of blogs by or about singles that you may or may not have noticed on the new and improved blogroll. Lately, I have been scouring the web in an attempt to find some of the liveliest, funniest, most interesting bloggers who have something to say on the issue of singlehood! In the coming days and weeks, you will see even more new additions.

Please note that Singletude does not necessarily endorse the opinions expressed by any of the bloggers on the blogroll. I am trying to compile a list of diverse voices, and where you find diversity, you will also find disagreement. However, rest assured that I do not blogroll any blogs that I think have nothing interesting or worthwhile to say.

If you would like your blog to be on the Singletude blogroll, there's no time like the present to make a request! The criteria for inclusion are simple: You should either be a single whose writing is informed by your single status (i.e. if you are a single whose blog is about antique automobiles or Lhasa Apsos, good for you, but that won't appeal to the audience here) or anyone, single or not, who regularly writes about topics important to singles. I am happy to link to blogs that focus on dating and the pursuit of relationships, but I am particularly interested in blogs that cover other aspects of the single life, as well.

And, of course, if you are a single blogger who eventually becomes...not single...you will still be on the blogroll, though you may be moved to another section. Away from the cool kids. Like the loser table at lunch. :) Just kidding. You'll probably be moved to "Blogs Formerly By or About Singles." ;)

To be considered, please send your link to my email, which can be found in the "About Me" section as well as at the end of every post, with "Link Request" in the subject line. Naturally, reciprocal links are always appreciated, too. :)


On Tuesday, Singletude gets political, so hurry back!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a Singletude Q&A or your rant or rave in a Singletude Sound-off!

Singletude Seeks Rants and Raves

Okay, all you budding writers! Sharpen your pencils and don your thinking caps because this is your chance to flex your literary muscle on Singletude! That's right, for one day, the homepage of Singletude will be your platform to sound off at the world!

Do you have a pet peeve about the single life? Maybe you love your job but want to tear out your prematurely graying hair every time your coworkers skip out early to pick up their kids. Maybe your patience is wearing thin on the scraps of time your coupled friends are feeding you. Maybe you fantasize about advising your nosy aunt to get her proboscis out of your love life and back in her knitting. Nicely, of course. There's no telling what damage she could do with that schnoz.

Or, keeping in mind that this is supposed to be a positive blog, after all, maybe you'd like to share with our international audience, especially those married cynics who can't (or won't) imagine us enjoying ourselves at a chill lounge or comedy club while they're wrestling two tantrum-y tots into bed, what really rocks about being single. Perhaps you'd like to tell us about the new business you started after your last break-up, the exotic vacations you jet off to without worrying about anyone else's schedule, the unbreakable bonds you have with your circle of singleton friends, or even something as seemingly minor as your full nights of dreamless sleep, uninterrupted by someone snoring, tossing and turning, stealing your covers, or shoving you into a remote corner of the bed.

Whether you have a rant or a rave, as long as it's about the single life, you're invited to submit it for possible publication on Singletude and dazzle the readers with the prowess of your pen. Your rant or rave can be long or short, formal or conversational, wickedly humorous or sweetly sincere. My one request is that you write it with a PG or PG-13 audience in mind. I reserve the right to edit submissions for content, clarity, and length, though I will make every effort to leave them as untouched as I can. I'll also include a link to your blog or web page so that people can find out more about you.

If this gets a good response, the rants and raves will become a regular feature, and I may even run a contest for all published submissions. (Yes, that means prizes for you!)

So make a date with your word processor and send the results to Singletude! I look forward to reading your rants and raves!

Singletude Posts Appear at SingleEdition

This just in! SingleEdition, an up-and-coming online lifestyle magazine for singles, will be reprinting a number of Singletude articles, beginning with Crime Safety Tips for Singles from my original post Crime Safety Tips for Singles, Part I.

SingleEdition provides news, feature articles, product reviews, a panel of experts who answer reader questions about everything from fashion to real estate, and interviews with singles like you. Topics are wide-ranging, as is the style and tone since lots of different authors and experts have input. Stop by and ask a question about the practical concerns of single life or get ideas for your Christmas list. And, of course, look for upcoming Singletude posts in the Feature Article section!

A Semi-Sad Announcement for Singletude Readers

Don't despair! Notice I said "semi-sad." :)

As you may have noticed, I haven't been posting as regularly as I previously did. I'm a freelancer, and when I launched Singletude several months ago, I cut back on some of my regular assignments so that I could see it off to a good start. Now, though, I find that I need to return to a more regular work schedule, and that means that I may or may not be able to post here every day.

I'm certainly not abandoning this blog, and I have lots more ideas for future posts. (Your ideas are, of course, welcome too!) At some point in the future, I would love to be able to return to providing in-depth, quality posts every day. But right now, we may have to settle for two or three such posts a week. If you don't want to check in every day, my best suggestion is to subscribe to the RSS feed, which will notify you whenever there's a post.

In addition, I'm still quite active on BlogCatalog, so anyone who would like to start up a discussion at the Singletude group there is welcome, too.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read and be a part of the discussion here, and I look forward to many more future posts!

Elsie Sleeps Through Bring a Friend to Singletude Day

Singletude owes an apology to those of you who sent a link to your friends for Bring a Friend to Singletude Day only to have them find on arrival that there was no post to comment on. There is no one to blame for this but myself.

My round-the-clock schedule took its toll on me last night, and when I was about to post, I...fell asleep. Yes, that is the ignominious crux of it.

So we'll chalk up the first ever International Bring a Friend to Singletude Day to a false start and try again in a few weeks. (Of course, if anyone's friend shows up here today or in the days ahead, I'll show you some link love anyway.)

International Bring a Friend to Singletude Day

Announcing the very first International Bring a Friend to Singletude Day this Monday, March 24, all day long! That's right, now's your chance to introduce your single acquaintances to the Singletude community! Make them prove their loyalty to you by suffering through my lengthy posts at your side. ;)

Here's how it works: If you know anyone who could benefit from the blogs and/or discussion at Singletude, send them a link on Mon., March 24, asking them to read a post that interests them and comment on it, mentioning who referred them. (You can recommend a post to them if you like.) Anyone who brings at least one friend to Singletude will be acknowledged in a thank-you post with a link to your blog or web site. I will also give a shout out to the friends who showed up, with backlinks to their blogs or web sites. Plus, I will read and leave a comment on your blog/site and your friend's blog/site. What sayest thou to that? :)


Fun Link of the Day

Singletude: A Positive Group For Singles on BlogCatalog

Come one, come all to Singletude: A Positive Group for Singles, the newest message group for the unattached, by choice or by circumstance, on BlogCatalog! Yes, that means we can all gab with each other on topics of your choice rather than just the ones I've managed to think up here.

I've started off the discussion with several threads to spark debate, but you're encouraged to add your own. You can find links to the current group topics in the sidebar of the Singletude home page.

Besides some great conversation with other singles, your participation at BlogCatalog can bring exposure and traffic to your own blog. (Yes, I am referring to shameless self-promotion!)

Hope to see you there!

Two Singletude Posts Appear at Rants 'n Reviews

The following Singletude posts have been featured in a blog carnival at Rants 'n Reviews:

"Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb: A Singletude Response
It's a Wedding, Not a Coronation

The carnival at Rants 'n Reviews showcases politically and sociopolitically charged rants. Point your browser there and take a look!

Three Singletude Posts Appear in the Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog Carnival 39

The following Singletude posts have been featured in the Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog Carnival 39:

Single and Shy: How to Work With Your Shyness
How to Know You're Enmeshed and Reestablish Your Boundaries
How to Cook for One: Tips for Singles, Part I

The blog carnival at FitBuff showcases posts on all aspects of healthy living, from physical fitness and nutrition to mental health to interpersonal relationships and everything in between.

Give it a read!

Three Singletude Posts Appear at Anything Goes & General News

The following Singletude posts have been featured in the Anything Goes & General News Blog Carnival (18th Edition):

"Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb: A Singletude Response
Enmeshment: The Story of Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake, Part I
Enmeshment: The Story of Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake, Part II

The blog carnival at Anything Goes & General News focuses on posts in response to headline news as well as the latest stories in politics, business, finance, people, entertainment, tech, and more.

Stop by and visit!