Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles

Singletude is a positive, supportive singles blog about life choices for the new single majority. It's about dating and relationships, yes, but it's also about the other 90% of your life--family, friends, career, hobbies--and flying solo and sane in this crazy, coupled world. Singletude isn't about denying loneliness. It's about realizing that whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, this single life is your life to live.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Singles in the News: 8/16/09-8/22/09

Apologies if you looked for "Singles in the News" yesterday without success. I held it till today since the midweek Singletude post was late.

After two weeks packed with stories about singles issues, last week was the slowest in memory. Unnervingly, there continued to be many headlines about "Who's Chasing Whom? The Impact of Gender and Relationship Status on Mate Poaching," the study reported in last week's "Singles in the News," all of them vilifying single women and warning couples to beware. Since the story was already covered here, these additional sources are not listed, but I mention them because it was disturbing to see how the media seized on this story, twisted it, and aggressively distributed the mangled contents to every corner of the Web.

Hopefully, next week will bring fresher content.


Singles With Singletude Award
"The Female Face of Real Estate"
By Ginny Mees
Summary: Over 20% of home buyers are single women, and their numbers are increasing all the time. Find out what's responsible for the growing trend and what defines the single female market. In a very slow week of singles news, this was the only article to qualify for the Singles With Singletude Award. It was disappointing that there was so little competition.

"Single Male Online Daters Would Father Babies for Their Friends"
24-7 pressrelease
Summary: Three online dating sites polled male members, asking if they'd be willing to donate sperm to a single female friend who wanted a child. The "majority" said yes, though 30% wanted a legal guarantee that they'd have no responsibility for the child.

"Single Women's Protest: Contradictions and Possibilities"
By Retika Rajbhandari
Summary: Single women in Nepal have been protesting a federal policy that would financially reward men for marrying widows. This author responds that such protests are misguided because they don't take into account how the new law would affect the most vulnerable women, non-Hindus of lower-class standing.


"State Moots Plan for Women Entrepreneurship Development"
By Bishnu Dash
Business Standard
Summary: Exciting news for single women in India! The government is implementing a program to help single women start small businesses.

"Straight, Single, and Sixty: The Truth About Dating After 55"
By Katherine Anne Forsythe
RH Reality Check
Summary: Between concerns about sexual decline, the shortage of older single men, and scammers in this new electronic Wild West, dating can be daunting for seniors. This article points singles over 55 toward dating services designed just for them and gives some tips to those just re-entering the dating scene in their golden years.


"Poverty on the Rise in County"
By Betty Ridge
Tahlequah Daily Press
Summary: Single men and women in Cherokee County, OK have been deeply affected by the recession, some of them turning to local homeless shelters.

Singleschmucker Award
"What's So Horrible About Needing a Man?"
By Michelle Cove
Summary: The same thing that's so horrible about "needing" anyone to complete us--we're already complete, just as we are. Michelle Cove is the director of the upcoming documentary Seeking Happily Ever After, which Singletude briefly profiled in "Director of Seeking Happily Ever After Seeks Single Women for Book." So I was disappointed to read her take on why single women looked confused and offended when she posed this question to them. It's unfortunate that after interviewing all those single women, Cove doesn't seem to believe that any of them could really be content on their own. Instead, she attributes the desire to be husband-free to a misinterpretation of feminist teaching. In Cove's opinion, single women should be allowed to have "man-free periods in their lives so they know they can make a fulfilling life for themselves." For some reason, it perplexes her that these same women might choose to continue the fulfilling lives they've made for themselves by themselves. Granted, not all single women choose to be single. Nevertheless, some will be single their whole lives, not just during the off season. To imply that all women need romantic partners to be happy, reach their full potential, or whatever overestimates the importance of the spousal relationship compared to other close relationships and does a great disservice to women who will never marry and their contributions to society.

Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)

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April said...

Michelle Cove's article is disappointing, but even more so because it's not surprising.

Anonymous said...

Disclaimer: I am a Michelle Cove fan because of her efforts with Seeking Happily Every After, and like Singletude, Onely also posted a shout out to the film.

That said, I am inclined to read her article by substituting "want" for "need". It's fine to want a man. I want a jacuzzi with floating baskets of kittens and Reeses peanut butter cups. But I'll be fine if I don't ever get that.

Maybe (?) Cove is saying that women sometimes interpret feminist movement rhetoric to mean that they shouldn't *want* someone to hold their hand and fix their door jams. Which is ridiculous--we all want that sometimes, and that's fine. Just as long as you are also able to fix your own doorjam in an emergency (or call the handyman from Craig's List).

This is what I hope she meant. It was a very short article, so it's hard to say.


Clever Elsie said...

April: See, I actually was surprised. Even though I haven't seen her documentary yet, I got the impression that it was going to rebut singlist attitudes. So this article threw me.

Christina: Maybe you're right that she said "need" but meant "want." I'm not sure. I just re-read the article and still get the feeling that she meant "need." In any case, I wish she had been more careful with her wording.

I'm still looking forward to the documentary, but I'm starting to wonder if it will be one of those that doesn't go far enough, that basically says it's fine to be single but even better to be coupled. Guess we'll have to wait and see!