Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles

Singletude is a positive, supportive singles blog about life choices for the new single majority. It's about dating and relationships, yes, but it's also about the other 90% of your life--family, friends, career, hobbies--and flying solo and sane in this crazy, coupled world. Singletude isn't about denying loneliness. It's about realizing that whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, this single life is your life to live.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Singles in the News: 7/12/09-7/18/09

The topic du jour in this edition of "Singles in the News" appears to be intentionally single mothers, also called SMCs (Single Moms by Choice). Find out what all the fuss was about along with a smattering of the usual singles advice columns, opinion pieces, and international news stories. (Please note that Singletude is not omitting 7/12 or 7/18. There just weren't any notable headlines on those days!)


"24 Hours in Eden"
Summary: Eden Village and Eden Village II are homeless shelters for single moms and single women, respectively. Read about how the single residents are benefiting from their stay.

"Best Places for the Rich and Single"
Summary: Are you single and well-heeled? Then you may be interested in moving to Hermosa Beach, CA, Money Magazine's top pick to meet like-minded neighbors. Arlington, VA ranked second, and Coronado, CA came in third. Check out all 25 to see if your city made the grade.

Singles With Singletude Award
"Donor Conception: The Mother of All Decisions"
By Emily Caston
Summary: One intentionally single mom opens up about why she decided to seek out a sperm donor, chronicles the ups and downs of the IVF process, and reflects on the growing movement of intentionally single parents who are changing both demographics and cultural norms. With the sensitivity of one who has been there, Caston confronts the pain of her failed search for a committed partner, the singlist public policy that forced her to fund the entire procedure privately, and myths about single parenting. A fair, intelligent, and honest look at a difficult process with very rewarding results for single women who want children, this story wins this week's Singles With Singletude Award.

Singleschmucker Award
"Seduced by Stories of Stars Giving Birth Later, and IVF Myths, Career-obsessed Lucy Believed Children and Love Could Wait"
By Lucy Edge
Mail Online
Summary: In contrast to the previous story, this article bemoans how the author postponed parenthood until her biological clock stopped. Edge's story elicits a mixed reaction. On one hand, I think it's important for people, both women and men, who want to have kids to prioritize that and realize they may have to start before they've achieved that next promotion, taken that trip around the world, or finally learned to play guitar. But Edge is too insistent that her own transformation from career woman to aspiring stay-at-home mom is everywoman's path. Not all women consider a child "the most precious prize of all." Some women grow in the opposite direction, having children early on and then wishing for the freedom to pursue personal passions. Other women never want to have kids at all. Unfortunately, happily single women don't make for dramatic headlines. So, instead, we only hear from the ones who regret their solo days. There's also more than a hint of singlism here as Edge insinuates that all child-free women are immature, calling her and her other single friends "big kids in shoulder pads" whose lives could be reduced to "working, shopping, drinking and having fun." This is by no means the most offensive article I've reviewed for "Singles in the News," but the pickings were slim this week, so it's singlist enough to earn it a Singleschmucker.

"Single Women Left Out of NREGS: ILO"
By Himanshi Dhawan
The Times of India
Summary: The battle for equality continues in India, where single women, who are a growing component of the workforce, have been excluded from the provisions of the National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (NREGS).

"Singles Celebrating All Things French: Bastille Day 2009, Tour de France, and Video De'Lamour"
By J.C. Russell
Summary: The author muses about French attitudes toward dating and the single life and concludes that Americans may not be so different--the media just pretends we are.


"Hit Hardest by the Job Crisis"
By Sid Patel
Summary: Wall Street may be laughing all the way to the bank, but the joke is on poor and minority workers, who aren't seeing any signs of economic recovery. Single women are one of the at-risk groups discussed here.

"Marriage Rates Go Down"
Summary: The recent explosion in the single population isn't unique to the USA. In traditional Armenia, marriage is declining even as divorce gains a stronger foothold.

"Places to Meet Single Women"
By Tye Green
Summary: Although written for a lesbian readership, most of these tips on where to troll for dates could just as easily apply to straight folks. Too bad none of them are places you haven't tried before.

"Single Men Over 60: Where Are You?"
By Regina Brett
Summary: The columnist laments the trouble older women have when looking for dates their age.


"Educating Women Priority for Head of Commission"
By Jen Beasely
Summary: The youthful new president of Maryland's Montgomery County Commission for Women is spearheading an initiative to get single mothers educated and out of poverty.

"Nepal's Women Organizations Reject Gov't Bounty"
By Zhang Jianhua
Xinhua News Agency
Summary: After centuries of abuse, Nepalese single women aren't taking it anymore. They're fighting mad, and they're banding together to let the government know it. Their latest beef is with a state policy that would give widows money to remarry. But these women don't want financial incentives to be enslaved to a succession of men. They want more rights and protections for single women.

"Oldest Woman to Give Birth Dies, Leaving Twins"
By Daniel Wools
Associated Press
Summary: She was 66 when she deceived a a fertility clinic into thinking she was 10 years younger and gave birth to twins by IVF. The single Maria del Carmen Bousada of Spain had devoted her adult life to her chronically ill mother, and now she wanted to raise children of her own. Despite her own faith in her longevity, not three years later, she has sadly passed away, leaving the twins motherless. This tragedy sparks debate over age limits for intentionally single parents.

"Single Women Can Freeze Eggs in Netherlands"
Summary: The University of Amsterdam's Academic Medical Centre is now giving single women under 40 the opportunity to freeze their eggs for future insemination. The procedure is already available in the U.S., with varying success rates, but is generally not covered by medical insurance. It was unclear whether the Dutch procedure, called vitrification, would be offered for profit or as part of the country's socialized health care program.

"So Romantic! As Economy Stutters, Hearts Flutter"
By Laura T. Coffey
Summary: The economy's down, but dating site subscriptions are up. This article tries to uncover why but stalls with singlist quotes such as, "Finding a relationship you're going to spend your life with--this is the most important thing you can have." Luckily, the "reevaluating your priorities" theory isn't the only one presented. "Misery loves company," "joint bank accounts," and "the infatuation high" also make an appearance.


"Jon and Kate Split Results in Dating Challenges for the New Single Parents"
PR Newswire
Summary: Don't be fooled. This press release has next to nothing to do with the disastrous reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8. Instead, it's about a poll sponsored jointly by,, and The results show that about 80% of single Americans polled would be willing to date a single parent, but almost 50% say the limit on kids from a previous relationship is two or three. The prospect of unlimited children reveals a sharp divide along gender lines; 19% of women would date a single father no matter how many children he had, but only about 3% of men would feel the same about a single mother.

"Where the Guys Are"
Marie Claire
Summary: Based on male-female ratio, here are the top 20 cities for single women on the prowl for a date or a mate. The top three contenders are Seattle, WA, Denver, CO, and San Jose, CA.


"9 Ways to Meet 'Mr. Right'"
The Times of India
Summary: These alternatives to a meet cute out on the singles scene range from tried and true to hip and fresh.

"The Midtown Man Hunt"
By Tamara Franklin
Summary: Remember the article from 7/14 that tried to tell you where to meet single women? Well, this one tries to tell you where to meet single men with the same predictable results. This one is geared toward residents of Atlanta, GA but, again, could apply to anyone.

Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)

Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have a rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a Singletude Q&A or your rant or rave in a Singletude Sound-off!


Special K said...

I LOVE the one about economy being so poor that dating sites are on the rise! Misery Loves Company, or "I am not working, I might as well be on match!" A great advertisement would be "Ever since I was laid off, I have been thinking, when would be a better time for catch myself a husband?"

Simone Grant said...

I am completely fascinated by the increase in profits at dating sites. But more than that, I'm even more fascinated by the media's love of the topic. It keeps popping up, week after week.

Clever Elsie said...

Special K: Heh heh! That article was my runner-up for the Singleschmucker Award. I really can picture a TV ad model reciting that line with a big white smile. And then it would probably cut to her and an "upstanding young man" type on the couch, and she would say, "Now I don't have to have a job--I have a husband!" Someone needs to do an eHarmony parody like this and put it on YouTube.

Simone: Me too. It makes me wonder if someone's getting a kickback somewhere.