Singles in the News: 1/17/10-1/23/10

Perhaps due to the approach of Valentine's Day, dating, romance, and marriage were hot topics last week. Singletude is not covering as many dating stories as it once did, but I believe the following articles are newsworthy because they either report on relevant trends, contain useful information, or are woefully singlist.



1/18/10

"Singles Open to Interracial Relationships Because of President Obama: Poll"
PR Newswire
Summary: A joint survey from dating web sites Date.com, Matchmaker.com, and Amor.com finds that 69% of single men and 75% of single women "are more open to having an interracial relationship because President Obama is African American." Also, 61.6% of single men and 80% of single women believe that prejudice against interracial couples is a thing of the past.


1/19/10

Singleschmucker Award
"Fix 'Marriage Penalty' in the Home Buyer Tax Credit"
By Joseph Brand
LoHud.com
Summary: The author is right. There's a marriage penalty in the home buyer tax credit such that marrieds aren't eligible unless both qualify, whereas if two singles purchase a home together, the one who qualifies can claim the credit. But elsewhere in the legislation lies a singles penalty, and that never gets a mention. To be eligible for the credit, a married couple can earn up to $245,000 a year. But a single individual can only earn up to $145,000. This has the effect of cutting off singles once they've attained the status of upper middle class while continuing to help couples straight up into the ranks of the wealthy. That extra $100,000 that the married couple is allowed can buy a lot more house than the single person can afford. Perhaps this would be more fair if the credit was based on the number of individuals in the family unit rather than on the marital status of the home buyer. Families with children, whether headed by married or unmarried parents, are going to need more space than are singles who live alone. But it's a serious injustice to permit marital status itself to be the determining factor. Think of the travesty of a childless couple who can afford to purchase a house twice the size of that of a single mom with five kids!

"Minister Calls for Law to Force Italy's 'Big Babies' to Grow Up"
By Michael Day
The Independent
Summary: Italian singles are notorious for mooching off their doting parents well into adulthood, and now some government officials are calling for legislation that would force these singles out of the nest, although how it would work is not explained. My own thoughts on this are divided. On one hand, by our cultural standards, able-bodied adults are supposed to take care of their parents, not vice versa. On the other hand, Italian culture is not American culture, and how people choose to design their living arrangements doesn't seem like something that should be subject to governmental control in any country. Furthermore, the Italian legislators' crusade against dependent singles begs the question of whether they intend to also crack down on dependent marrieds. My guess is no. Yet how is it different for a working individual to support a spouse than it is for that person to support a grown child? If we okay one arrangement but not the other, that's discrimination. Besides, it's not true that all singles who live at home are supported by their parents. Some choose to live at home for company, convenience of location, or even to help their families. Ultimately, Singletude's position has to be that family structure is a private choice and should not be a public matter, nor should the accepted definition of family be restricted to only married couples and their minor children.

"New Economics of Marriage: The Rise of Wives"
By Richard Fry and D’Vera Cohn
PewResearchCenter
Summary: Among other discoveries, the Pew Research Center finds that "married adults have made greater economic gains over the past four decades than unmarried adults." This is at least partly due to the fact that people who attain higher levels of education are both more likely to marry and more likely to earn higher incomes. Also, "for unmarried adults at each level of education, however, men's household incomes fared worse than those of women." That means that, between 1970 and 2007, single women saw their incomes grow more than did single men. However, single men still continue to earn much more on average than do single women. The median household income for a single man is still about $17,000 more per year than the median household income for a single woman. Now compare that to how single women fare against married women and watch the figure jump to an annual difference of almost $26,000! For single men and married men, the difference is less dramatic but still significant, with married men earning approximately $9,000 more per year.


1/20/10

"2010 Top 10 Cities for Single Women"
By Paula Santonocito
SingleMindedWomen.com
Summary: Boston, Washington, DC, and New York are the cream of the crop on this year's list. Results are based on job outlook, cost of living, transportation, social and entertainment venues, public health, ratio of singles to marrieds, ratio of single women to single men, and some intangibles such as "aesthetics, personal style, and community support."

"Nepal Court Blocks Cash Incentive for Marrying Widows"
By Gopal Sharma
Reuters
Summary: Good news! Singletude is happy to announce that after months of protests, the Supreme Court of Nepal has ruled that the government may not provide dowries for single women, financially rewarding the men who marry them. Single women had feared that the new policy would encourage spousal abuse and abandonment and further undermine their efforts to be recognized as fully functioning members of society.

"When Divorced Parents Start Dating Again"
By Amy Wang
The Oregonian
Summary: This sensible article advises newly divorced parents to find other single friends rather than jump into dating relationships. And how should a divorced mom or dad introduce the kids to a new partner once she or he is ready to date again? Very S-L-O-W-L-Y. Single parents should talk about the new love interest for awhile before inviting him or her over, maintain a healthy balance between family time and time with the boyfriend or girlfriend, and skip sleepovers together when the kids are around.


1/21/10

"The Right Man Is Getting Harder to Find"
By Richard Whitmire
The Wall Street Journal
Summary: A discussion of the gender imbalance within the college-educated U.S. population sympathizes with single women who can't find male peers.

"Valentine's Day Traditions Around the World"
By Denise Ngo
YourTango
Summary: In the U.S., V-Day is primarily a celebration of couples, and singles get ignored. However, in other countries around the world, it's an occasion for single people to celebrate with a number of highly ritualized customs. While most of these customs are overly focused on matchmaking, it's nice that they're inclusive of singles so that couples aren't the only ones having fun. Plus, they make for an interesting read.

"Why Would Anyone Get Married?"
By Edward Keenan
Eye Weekly
Summary: Studies may conclude that marriage is a raw deal for women, so why do so many single women want to get hitched? And if it's such a bonus for men, why do they avoid it like the plague? This (happily married) writer muses that it's because single men have more realistic expectations for marriage than single women do but reasons that they should get married all the same because "the world is.... better faced...with a friend and confidant and partner--a family member--at your side." Singletude can accept that it's a boon to have a loyal partner in life. But why are we so small-minded that we think it must be a sexual or romantic partner?


1/22/10

"A New Approach for Singles Looking for Love"
EON
Summary: Though Singletude is not covering dating as much as previously, this new Internet dating site has a twist that's too interesting to ignore. GreenlightCard.com is based on the philosophy that romance should grow out of attraction rather than vice versa. The site believes that the online prelude to a meeting puts the cart before the horse, so they send each member printed calling cards that link to the member's Internet profile, which he or she can then slip to would-be dates. If a lucky candidate returns the member's interest, he or she can look up the member and make contact.

Singles With Singletude Award
"Experts Express Doubts About BadgerCare Basic Health Insurance Proposal"
By Jake Miller
Wisconsin Rapids Tribune
Summary: In Wisconsin, a state-funded insurance program for low-income single, child-free adults is now charging premiums that some people worry are unrealistic for singles of limited means. This isn't the kind of article that would usually win a Singles With Singletude Award, but this week there really weren't any outstanding, pro-single articles. This story wins simply because it takes a critical stance toward a state government that is cutting health benefits for low-income singles, and such stories are fairly rare. Most journalists don't seem to have a problem with how single, child-free adults are excluded from the health benefits available to other groups and, in fact, tend to side with those who believe it's "unrealistic" to cover them. So this article is appreciated.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


Want to stay current on changes in the world that impact singles? Read the latest news about singles every day! Check out the Singletude newsreader under Singles in the News on the homepage!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singles in the News: 12/6/09-12/12/09

This was a very eventful week for "Singles in the News"! Once again, some frequent themes emerged, including hungry, homeless, and uninsured singles; the status of singles in African nations; and the holiday season.



12/6/09

"Hundreds Wait for Space at Shelter"
By Kevin Schwaller
OzarksFirst.com
Summary: Homeless shelters and transitional housing facilities in Missouri are overcrowded with single women and single moms.

Singles With Singletude Award
"I Do...Want Benefits, Too"
By Alison Lobron
The Boston Globe
Summary: Starting off this week's "Singles in the News" on the right foot, this terrific article highlights how singles are subject to discrimination on just about every front, losing out on medical benefits, Social Security payments, reduced auto insurance premiums, and so on. Lobron examines the history of legalized singlism and options currently on the table to undo it. Interestingly, she argues against extending civil union rights to platonic partners as an ultimate solution because it still creates a society dependent on pairings. A must-read!

"The Love Con-nection"
By Nick Foster
The Sun Chronicle
Summary: Another article about Internet dating scams warns singles to be careful. Fraudulent criminals often work their cons by cluing in to the victim's hopes and dreams, then asking for money, usually by wire transfer, to help advance a cause the unsuspecting single person cares about such as owning a house or starting a business. Sometimes, these online predators invent sob stories about injuries, muggings, layoffs, and the like. Many of them operate overseas, with Africa a popular base. The average victim loses $8,400 by the time all is said and done. If you believe you have been scammed, you should "report the incident to one or more consumer fraud sites like fraud.org, ftc.gov, and the state attorney general's office." You should also check your credit report and ask for a fraud alert to be placed on any bank or credit accounts that you suspect may have been compromised.

"Ministry Provides Shelter for Needy Women"
By Rachel Johnson
Aiken Standard
Summary: Crossroads Ministries in South Carolina "is dedicated to offering a safe harbor to single women in need." For 10 years, they have provided transitional housing and financial planning assistance for single women and single mothers and hope to expand, but they are in dire need of funds.

"Taking Care of 3 Children...and Your Boyfriend?"
By Mary Jo Rapini
HealthNewsDigest.com
Summary: This article sheds light on the phenomenon of single mothers who allow boyfriends to mooch off of them so they can get the equivalent of free day care for the children. The potential for child abuse is also discussed. The author recommends that a single mom prevent these situations by refusing to live with her boyfriend, laying down an ultimatum if he lives in the household but does not work full-time, finding quality day care, choosing a stable male role model who is not bound to the family by just a temporary sexual relationship, and relying more on other single female friends.


12/7/09

"Single for the Holidays? Dating Expert Rochelle Peachey Offers Survival Tips"
By Carly Zander
Send2Press Newswire
Summary: The article starts off on a downbeat note with the sentence "Few people like being alone." What they mean when they say "alone" is, of course, "single." It seems like a bit of an overgeneralization to assert that "few" singles like to be free agents or that they are all "alone." But, for those who feel that way, Rochelle Peachey, British-born author of Eat Your Lonely Heart Out and My 1,000 Americans: A Year-Long Journey Through the Personals, suggests a proactive holiday approach. She encourages singles to stop sitting around at home and go to parties whether or not they have dates or, better yet, plan parties of their own. If going out to a club, single females should bring along male friends so as not to present an intimidating girls-only front. She also hopes that singles will try online dating and stop being "so picky." No comment on that last bit.

"Singles Ministry Makes Holidays Less Lonely"
By Tricia Pursell
The Daily Item
Summary: A Pennsylvania church has separate support groups for those who are single, divorced, and widowed and hosts gatherings for every holiday so that singles with no other family have someplace to go.

"Talking Point: The Boomerang Syndrome"
By Amy Molloy
Grazia
Summary: When single celebs get back together with exes, it must be because they're sooooo lonely at the holidays that they can't stand to be single, right?

"When Are Singles Most Willing to Get Married?"
By Bae Hyun-jung
The Korea Herald
Summary: Seoul National University, in partnership with a wedding consulting firm, finds that Korean singles must experience an average of seven to nine relationships before they're interested in settling down. The survey polled 975 twenty- and thirtysomething singles. It seems that single Koreans are eager to keep their options open in hopes of finding a "'soul mate.'" The survey also revealed that a high degree of satisfaction with one's life and with one's family of origin was correlated with greater receptivity to marriage. In addition, single men were more likely than women to consider marrying people who had been previously divorced. Sexual behavior was also examined, with 32% endorsing sex after one month of dating and single women preferring to wait longer than single men.

"Women2Day--Lifestyle: Hone Your Flirting Skills This Christmas"
The Chester Chronicle
Summary: Jean Smith, a social anthropologist from England, shares the results of her extensive research on flirting. Singles, she says, should remember that flirting is all about making the other person feel special. To assess whether a man is interested, she advises a woman to focus on how often he looks directly at her as opposed to other people in the group. When interacting, she should lean in, smile and laugh often, make eye contact without neglecting the flirty glance from behind the lashes, and mirror the man's body language. She also cautions singles to stay away from the punch and avoid seeming desperate. Above all, she encourages singles to relax, stop worrying about rejection, and not take flirting too seriously.


12/8/09

"Harriet Harman: Not Government's Role to Support Marriage"
By Rosa Prince
The Daily Telegraph
Summary: British politician Harriet Harman critiques the current administration's plans to create more financial incentives for marriage, contending, "'There is no government policy which will prevent relationship breakdown...Dictating family structures makes those not in the traditional two parent family feel that they are being blamed and their children feel they are being told "there is something wrong with your family and so there is something wrong with you."'" Harman argues that financial benefits for marriage would have the effect of rewarding multiple remarriages while discriminating against disadvantaged single parents. Ultimately, she supports the view "'that marriage is a lifestyle choice rather than the best institution within which to bring up children.'" However, conservatives have been defending their position, and the article gives them a platform, as well, as they deny that tax breaks for the married are discriminatory and claim that "'evidence overwhelmingly shows that children thrive on the stability that comes from'" marriage.

"Lavalife Uncovers the Single Woman's Need for Adventure"
PR Newswire
Summary: Online dating site Lavalife polled over 2,000 singles, asking them if they'd ever traveled alone. Of the single ladies who responded, 61% had traveled on their own, and 64% of them had enjoyed it. Rather unexpectedly, this report turns into an interview with a footloose single female.

"Women as Vectors of Disease: The Problem with Ill-thought Campaigns"
By Catherina Makoni
kubatana.net
Summary: A public health campaign in Zimbabwe concerns this writer, who worries that single women are being unfairly demonized for the spread of HIV. More particularly, she is concerned that single women who have been forced into the sex trade are being inaccurately portrayed as wily nymphomaniacs instead of oppressed, economically disadvantaged people.


12/9/09

"Bloomberg/Paterson: Reform Bill Will Cost N.Y. Billions"
By Glenn Thrush
Politico
Summary: The New York state government predicts dire consequences for the state's poor, especially single adults, if the federal government imposes more widespread medical coverage while failing to provide adequate funds.

"Ground Broken on Housing for Homeless in Portsmouth"
WVEC.com
Summary: Sixty new studio apartments and job placement are available for low-income single adults in Virginia.

"Law Offering Insurance Options for Adult Children Now in Effect in Pa."
By Keith L. Martin
IFAwebnews.com
Summary: Single adults up to age 30 who live in Pennsylvania are now eligible to be covered by their parents' medical insurance.

"Many Left out in the Cold on Peninsula"
By Joshua Melvin
San Mateo County Times
Summary: This week's cold spell left many homeless single adults and single parents in California's Bay Area scrambling for a warm place to spend the night.

"Shelter Space Sparse for Solo Homeless Women in Denver"
By Colleen O'Connor
The Denver Post
Summary: Denver, CO has a serious shortage of beds for single women in homeless shelters.


12/10/09

"Cold Weather Hangs On"
By Joyce Chen
The News Tribune
Summary: Shelters for single men are inundated with new faces in Tacoma, WA as unseasonably cold temperatures continue.

"Mayor Aggressively Pushing Jobs Program"
By Mike Aldax
San Francisco Examiner
Summary: The mayor of San Francisco, CA intends to lobby the federal government to extend the benefits of a program called JobsNow to single adults. Currently, JobsNow, intended to stimulate job creation by compensating employers for new hires, only covers employees who have spouses or children. Kudos to Mayor Gavin Newsom for trying to redress what has to be one of the most blatant wrongs committed against single workers in recent history! To specifically reward employers for hiring married people, with or without children, is an absolute travesty--incentivized hiring discrimination.

"Meet the Rhino, the Male Cougar"
By Ben Davey
news.com.au
Summary: Finally! Older single men who "prey" on younger women at last have an animalistic moniker to call their own--rhino. According to the article, rhinos are "'more often than not both horny AND ugly.'" Thanks to this Australian news site for evening the score! The derogatory nature of the cougar label is also explored, with one professor explaining, "'It makes the connection between women who are looking for a certain kind of partner and a cougar which is looking for prey. There’s very much here a sense of men being thought of as defenceless, as being threatened, used up and discarded.'" He goes on to denounce the double standard that praises bachelors for catching young single women while condemning their female counterparts for the same behavior.

"NYC Sued for Inadequate Homeless Shelters"
By Cindy Rodriguez
WNYC
Summary: The Legal Aid Society is suing New York City for failure to provide shelter for its homeless single adults, most of whom are single men.

"The Single Girl's Guide to the Holidays"
By Karen Salmansohn
Oprah.com
Summary: Have a chuckle at these clever quips designed to fend off anyone who dares to question why you're single this holiday season from the author of Prince Harming Syndrome.

"Singles in Japan Ride 'Love Train'"
CCTV.com
Summary: What the Japanese government won't do to marry off its citizens! Its latest attempt is a five-hour train ride for singles. A video is included in this report.

"Too Few Shelters for Too Many Homeless"
By Frank Gray
Fort Wayne Journal Gazette
Summary: Most homeless single women who show up at an Indiana women's shelter aren't ex-cons, abuse victims, or drug addicts. They're regular women who've lost their jobs and have nowhere else to go. The owner of the shelter is troubled that single women with serious problems have plenty of resources while those who have simply fallen on hard times through no fault of their own have none.


12/11/09

"Despite Warnings, Goat Lady Pursues Her Goals in Nepal"
By Jennifer Erickson
The Laguna Beach Independent
Summary: A California native helps single women in Nepal start viable business ventures and access education.

"Partners in Prevention Program a Success So Far"
ABC 13
Summary: Family Alliance of Lynchburg, VA has launched a new program to help twentysomething single men. Topics covered include financial planning, sex education, substance abuse prevention, leadership, and personal responsibility.

"Singles Less Willing to Have Baby: Survey"
By Lee Ji-yoon
The Korea Herald
Summary: The Korean Ministry for Health, Welfare and Family Affairs surveyed 3,314 singles and found that although 75.7% of single men and 73.1% of single women still wanted to marry, only 23.4% of men and 23% of women wanted children. Reasons to defer marriage tended to be financial for men, while women cited personal factors like difficulty finding the right match.

"Union Hall Pantry Eases Hunger, Hearts"
By Adam Northam
Brookhaven Daily Leader
Summary: A church food pantry in Mississippi serves mostly singles.

Singleschmucker Award
"Zambia: Broken Marriages Worry NGOCC"
Times of Zambia
Summary: A new survey reveals that spousal abandonment is on the increase in Zambia, with growing numbers of married men leaving their wives for younger single women or, in some cases, underage girls. A "provisional liaison officer" named Priscilla Mwansa from the Non-governmental Organisation Coordination Council (NGOCC) said "it was sad that some men in the district were not satisfied with their wives and had decided to embark on a mission of ruining the lives of single women and schoolgirls. She blamed marriage counsellors [sic] popularly known as 'Alangizi' for teaching schoolgirls how to please men in bed before they could find a man to marry them." Singletude is not in favor of breaking commitments once made, but it seems like stretching it to say that these newly separated men are "ruining the lives" of presumably consenting adult partners. On the other hand, in cases where their partners are underage girls, it is also unreasonable to insinuate that these teenagers are scheming to lure blameless grown men into bed! Although it's not entirely clear that there's an editorial bias toward Mwansa's perspective, there are no comments countering it, either.


12/12/09

"A Home Without Prince Charming"
By Marcelle S. Fischler
The New York Times
Summary: There are now twice as many single female home buyers as single male home buyers. This excellent article looks at how changing credit practices in the 1980s, better job opportunities, greater residential stability, and an "'appreciation of housing, of building a nest'" have all contributed to the growing trend. Several single women who own homes are interviewed, and all have positive comments about their decisions.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


Want to stay current on changes in the world that impact singles? Read the latest news about singles every day! Check out the Singletude newsreader under Singles in the News on the homepage!


Don't forget to enter the Singletude giveaway contest by 12/23/09 at noon for your chance to win a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer from SingleEdition.com! Time is running out!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singles in the News: 11/29/09-12/5/09

This was another big week for international news. Of 21 articles covered, half were from international papers or other sources.



11/29/09

"Internet Dating Sites Recommended for Women 'Looking for Love'"
By Tony Panaccio
Maryville Daily Times
Summary: Is this for real? Satch U. Ejike, PhD, author of Find a Good Man and Keep Him is asked for his advice to single women seeking partners, and all he has to say is go to "Internet dating sites, choose your site wisely and take advantage of the 'chat' features"? You've gotta be kidding me. He needed a doctorate to write that?

Singleschmucker Award
"Naija Babes with Big Stomach"
By Jermoe Yaovi
Vanguard
Summary: A shockingly misogynistic rant against Nigerian single females who don't fit the Barbie doll standard of beauty, ostensibly written by a matchmaker. From the article: "...No man will go for something that is as shapeless as a toad and be proud to make introduction of her to friends, not to talk of be[ing] seen with her, except her father is very, very rich, and he is sure of getting his bank account filled with dollars and pounds; courtesy of his Ms. Toad." He then presents six other men who are just as crude as he is to back him up. While obesity isn't the healthiest condition and some people are not attracted to rounder figures, to suggest that overweight singles are not attractive to anyone and, worse, are second-class humans unworthy of love is wrong on so many levels and completely untrue. To make matters worse, the article is directed only at single ladies. Apparently, the author believes women should be physically perfect, but men should get a free pass. Disgusting and worthy of a Singleschmucker.

"Villas Remain Crowded a Year After Deadly Blaze"
By Praveen Menon
The National
Summary: In Dubai, single male laborers "live in cramped rooms and overcrowded villas to save on accommodation costs" even though their residential situation poses a fire hazard.


11/30/09

"Andy Murray Gets Over Break-up Heartache by Buying a New Ironing Board"
By Emily Nash and Greig Box Turnbull
The Daily Mirror
Summary: I'm not sure why this tabloid article in particular made Google Alerts. It's very brief, and tons of dirt on celebrity break-ups is published every day. This angle is typical, though. Notice how the British tennis star, who just ended a four-year relationship, is said to be coping with "heartache," "cut[ting] a sad figure," and "stocking up on bachelor essentials." He couldn't possibly just need a new ironing board. It must be that he's purchasing one to assuage a broken heart.

"Salvation Army Open 6.8m Southampton Hostel"
By Peter Law
Southern Daily Echo
Summary: Profiling a high-tech single men's homeless shelter and its residents in Great Britain.


12/1/09

"Iraqi Refugees: Women on the Margins"
ReliefWeb
Summary: Iraqi "widows and single women without the support and protection of male relatives face substantial psychological and physical risk." A community has fled to Syria, where some single women say they have been overwhelmed by prejudice, suspicion, and re-victimization. In many cases, they can't acquire work or visas. The United Nations has requested that neighboring countries open their doors to these women, but only a third have been successfully resettled, and even those locations often lack the treatment facilities that these traumatized individuals need. Just as disturbingly, some single mothers are now pushing their young daughters into early marriages or prostitution to earn income for the family.

"Labour's Katherine Rake Is Wrong: It Takes Two to Mend a Broken Society"
By Jill Kirby
The Daily Telegraph
Summary: The journalist knocks Dr. Katherine Rake of England's Family and Parenting Institute for saying that "the nuclear family is an outdated institution, being replaced by new models of family life where children are brought up by an assortment of relatives and other adults." Kirby calls marriage "the best institution there is for keeping families together" and wants to see more tax breaks for married couples to support stay-at-home moms. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs about how best to raise children. Research shows that the more loving adults kids have committed to their well-being, the better they fare. Sometimes those adults are married parents, but sometimes they're grandparents, grown siblings, or aunts and uncles...and sometimes they're unmarried parents. Adults who are responsible for children need some financial help, period. Married parents should not be additionally rewarded at everyone else's expense just because they're married.

"The Real Threat to Marriage?"
By Tracy Clark-Flory
Salon.com
Summary: In this article, contributed by blogger Wag the Dog, Salon comments on an impassioned address of the New York State Assembly by Senator Diane Savino, included here in a YouTube clip. The article basically just sums up Savino's argument in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage in New York. In other words, watch the video for the full story. Savino may be guilty of overvaluing relationships somewhat--she seems to think everyone should aspire to them--but what will really interest Singletude readers is her condemnation of matrimania, starting around the 5 min., 30 sec. mark. She doesn't call it "matrimania," but that's exactly what she's describing. Unfortunately, in this case, she uses heterosexual matrimania to justify why all those legal perks of marriage should be extended to another select group of people instead of questioning why anyone should get a bunch of legal perks for a personal decision.

"Rrrowl! Beware Cougar's Young Niece, the Cheetah"
By Spencer Morgan
The New York Observer
Summary: More drivel shaming single female "predators" for answering the call of the wild with younger men...even when the partners are five years apart and both in their twenties. If you thought you'd seen the worst of it with the "Naija Babes" article above, wake up and smell the singlism--it's alive and well in the so-called first world, too. What's worse, this is sexist singlism, in which the single ladies are held to a different standard than the single men. According to Morgan, "cheetahs" are single "women past the first flush of youth wanting to date or at least f*** 'above their station.'" This lone "hunter" is attractive to no one but the man too drunk to care who he sleeps with and has to wonder if "'her p***y's still good enough to keep him'" even. Furthermore, "she hopes that her victim will find something in her searching eyes when he rolls over the next morning, and will try to subtly guilt him into another round next time they meet." In case you need one, here's a translation: Single women beyond their mid-twenties are no longer sexy or attractive. They are unworthy of male attention from any decent guys, and they know it, so they desperately throw themselves at single males who have no right or responsibility to refuse if they're not interested and "victimize" them. Occasionally, these single gals might actually enjoy the sex or feel a deeper connection with a man and want to see him again. How dare they! They should bow down and repeat this a hundred times: "We're not worthy!" Shame on Spencer Morgan, and shame on The New York Observer for publishing this sexist nonsense. They've lost my respect and, as the comments indicate, the respect of a lot of other readers, as well. If not for the "Naija Babes" piece, this would be the Singleschmucker.

"Suddenly Jobless? Go on a Date! For Half of Single Americans, Recession Having No Impact on Dating Attitudes, According to People Media's DatingData Poll"
Business Wire
Summary: A poll of over 27,000 singles claims that 51% believe the recession has had no effect on their dating lives. But over a quarter said they "would not date anyone who is unemployed," and 17% "would be less motivated to date." Single women were more likely to reject a date based on unemployment (37%) than were single men (11%). The caveat is that this poll was conducted through online dating sites, so naturally it's biased toward a population that is interested in dating.


12/2/09

"All Men Watch Porn, and It Is Not Bad for Them: Study"
By Michel Viatteau
Google
Summary: A study by Simon Louis Lajeunesse of Montreal University finds that pornography use is ubiquitous among college-age males, that it doesn't provoke deviant sexual behavior, and, of interest to us, that singles watch more often than men in relationships. On average, single men watched porn three times a week for 42 minutes each time, while attached men watched 1.7 times a week for 27 minutes each time. The small sample size and selection bias toward men who were willing to reveal intimate details may have some bearing on the validity of these results. However, the only thing that shocks me is that guys can find two hours a week to waste watching videos. But, then, these are college kids we're talking about.

"Councilwoman Works to Get Help for Homeless Single Women in Mesa"
By Jim Walsh
The Arizona Republic
Summary: Mesa, AZ is proud of all the help it offers to disadvantaged groups. There's just one at-risk segment of the population whose needs are not addressed. Can you guess which one it is? That's right--single women. A member of the city council is working to redress the inequity.

"Food Bank Shelves Running Low"
By Donal O'Connor
The Beacon Herald
Summary: The Salvation Army of Ontario, Canada reports food shortages as more singles and unmarried couples arrive at its doors.

"St. Vincent de Paul"
By Lauren Fielding
The Pembroke Daily Observer
Summary: A Canadian soup kitchen which serves mostly single people seeks donations and volunteers.


12/3/09

"How to Tell If a Woman Fancies You: Look at Her Feet"
By Murray Wardrop
The Daily Telegraph
Summary: A study out of the University of Manchester in England has found that the best clue to how a single woman feels may be her feet. Apparently, women are more unguarded and expressive with their feet than with any other body part, so single men on the hunt should keep their heads down. According to Geoff Beattie, who headed the study, women hold their feet in a more open stance to signal attraction and cross their legs or tuck them under to signal disinterest. Unfortunately for women, men don't play footsie to display the same telltale signs of attraction. However, when nervous, men increase foot movements while women decrease them, and when trying to deceive, both sexes hold their feet still. The study also showed that women judge their dates quite stringently on footwear, so if you're going out, dress to impress, guys. That said, you should be aware that not everyone's body language is so uniform. For instance, I know that I cross my legs almost all the time, no matter how I feel, and swing my foot often when nervous. Also, I don't think I've ever noticed a guy's shoes on a first date. It's just not that important to me.

"Young Women Juggle Motherhood, College"
By Faiza Elmasry
Voice of America
Summary: An interview with Sherrill Mosee, author of Professor, May I Bring My Baby to Class?, discusses how hard it is for single mothers to obtain college degrees. Mosee's Family Care Solutions is "a non-profit group that helps low-income single women pay for childcare so they can attend school." Several single moms chime in with their own educational success stories. One hopes Family Care Solutions teaches proper use of birth control, too. Mosee mentions that she comes from three generations of young, single moms and acknowledges that many families continue a "'cycle of teen pregnancy.'" I'm all for supporting single mothers, but there's something to be said for personal responsibility, too, especially when you grow up with examples of what not to do.


12/4/09

"For Singles, Job Losses Hit Twice as Hard"
By Jason M. Breslow
PBS Newshour
Summary: According to data from the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, from the beginning of the recession through the first half of 2009, employment fell 5-7% among single adults but only 2.6% among married individuals. The current unemployment rate for singles is 13.1%, more than double the rate for marrieds, which is just 6.3%. Economists attribute the difference to three factors. For one, married workers are more likely to be older and, thus, more experienced. For another, marrieds tend to be better educated that singles, which makes them more attractive to employers. And, finally, the researchers contend that married job hunters may be more willing to take jobs that singles wouldn't touch, though I'm not sure what evidence they have of that. Singlism is not mentioned as a factor. Thankfully, Howard J. Wall, a vice president at the Federal Reserve, sums it up by saying, "'The last thing I'd want to do is to advise someone to go get married in order to have a better chance at a job. It's just not worth it.'"


12/5/09

"Defying the Fear of Growing Old"
By Wnagui Thuo
The Standard
Summary: Proving that youth worship isn't just manufactured by the Western media, this Kenyan paper interviewed twenty-, thirty-, and forty-somethings about their age-related worries. Interestingly, of the five interview subjects, four are single. While all of the single folks talk about marriage as a long-term goal, the one married subject seems to have a less rosy view of coupled life, complaining that "her days are busy with meeting expectations from everyone around her," and she advises other married people to take time for themselves. The article concludes with a quote from a very sensible single man, who wonders, "Why is being married such a badge of honour? Even at the office, single men cannot apply for managerial positions. Yet marriage doesn't make you smarter." Of course, he's right, and Singletude hopes that articles like this will help reverse such blatantly discriminatory practices in such countries as Kenya.

Singles With Singletude Award
"Never Married, Over 40, Well-adjusted"
By Kathleen Doheny
HealthDay
Summary: Three cheers for this article about a study called "The Role of Psychological Resources in the Affective Well-being of Never-married Adults" by Dr. Jamila Bookwala of Lafayette College and Dr. Erin Fekete of the University of Miami! The researchers compared 105 individuals who had always been single to 1,486 marrieds, noting that it was important to study the never-married as a distinct group from the widowed, divorced, and separated. Although they found that singles reported "lower levels of overall emotional well-being" and "fewer social resources," they scored about the same as marrieds on "psychological resources," a category that measures how well people cope with stressful situations. More importantly, the better singles scored on psychological resources, the better they scored on emotional well-being, and singles who scored the highest on these two measures surpassed their married counterparts. Quite admirably, neither the study authors nor anyone else interviewed for the article tries to confuse this correlation with causation. Bookwala acknowledges that it's just as likely that people with rich psychological resources don't marry as it is that long-term singleness stimulates the development of psychological resources. Taking it a step further, one commentator hypothesizes that very self-sufficient, independent-minded people might actually be more unhappy in marriage and should avoid it. It isn't yet possible for lay people to access this study, so I can't comment on any possible confounds. Certainly I'd like to see how "overall emotional well-being" and "social resources" were measured. However, kudos again to the researchers and the reporter for highlighting the positive findings about singles rather than dwelling on the negatives. As Bookwala says, "We find our study debunks that myth of something being wrong with the never-married individual." An easy pick for this week's Singles With Singletude Award.

"Regions Hospital Postpones $36 Million Mental Health Project"
By John Kroman
KARE 11
Summary: A Minnesota hospital can no longer afford to construct a new mental health facility due to state cutbacks on aid to the General Assistance Medical Care program, which largely benefited single adults.

"Singles Group Makes History with First 'Cougar Cruise'"
By Nick Valencia
CNN
Summary: Remember the cougar flight? Well, now it's a cougar cruise. Ho hum.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


Don't forget to enter the Singletude giveaway contest for your chance to win a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer from SingleEdition.com! Time is running out!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singles in the News: 11/22/09-11/28/09

This was a big week for "Singles in the News." There were lots of stories, many of them reporting on significant trends of interest to singles and most of them with a neutral or pro-single slant. The Far East was also in the limelight this week with articles about singles in South Korea, Japan, China, and Singapore all making headlines.

You may also notice that there have been some changes to the Singles in the News daily newsreader on the home page. When I originally installed the newsreader, it apparently had the ability to search on multi-word phrases such as "single people" and "single women." However, the powers that be must've wanted to shake things up because, starting a month or so ago, I noticed that it was no longer returning accurate results for those phrases and was instead searching on the terms separately, resulting in a lot of irrelevant links to pop music singles, singles tennis, and single-payer health care! So, I have retooled the newsreader to make sure it provides stories that are on topic every day. Unfortunately, I had to use a different blog gadget that takes up a lot more space, so I also had to cut back on the number of feeds displayed. Right now, you will only see news related to "single people," "single women," and "single men." Still, I think it's much better to feature fewer stories that are all relevant than more stories that have nothing to do with singles. I hope you agree!

With no further ado, then, here is this week's edition of "Singles in the News"!



11/22/09

"iRateMyDate iPhone App Launches in the iTunes Store"
EarthTimes
Summary: What is it with these iPhone apps? In last week's "Singles in the News," Apple was plotting to make our lives open books to random strangers, and this week, it wants to help us take notes on the people we meet so we can more easily reduce them to algorithms. Can't decide which date you like enough to ask out again? Just input the sum of their selling points minus their total flaws and...voila! Now you know who you like! It's that simple.

"Obsessed with 'Ugly' Women"
By Philip Brasor
The Japan Times
Summary: Two overweight Japanese femme fatales, who allegedly milked their suitors for all they were worth and then dispatched them with sleeping pills, inspired this article about how unattractive single women manage to "lure" eligible bachelors. If you're looking for some offensive material, there's something here to insult everyone, from the assertion that all obese women are "ugly" to the idea that single men are such slaves to meek, mild stereotypes of "fat" people that they are easily duped by BBWs with hidden agendas.


11/23/09

"Blind Dates, Matching Shirts and 3 Valentines"
By Joanna Fearing
Indiana Daily Student
Summary: An Indiana University exchange student observes dating practices in Korea. Apparently, family and friends are much more instrumental in orchestrating relationships than they are in the States. Korea also has--horrors!--not one but two Valentine's Days. There's a day for singles, too, called Black Day. Thankfully that's not so everyone can don mourning clothes; it's because singles get together and eat a traditional dish with black sauce.

"The Face of Homelessness in Janesville"
By Stacy Vogel
GazetteXtra.com
Summary: The first single men's shelter in a Wisconsin town and some of its residents are profiled. The growing problem of homelessness in general is also addressed.

"Govt Moots Action Plan for GRB"
Republica
Summary: At first glance, this report is about women's rights, not specifically singles rights. But look closely. In the penultimate paragraph, you'll notice that Nepal starts giving social security benefits to single women 10 years before married women get them. This just might be the first nation ever to officially recognize that singles have it financially tougher than marrieds and take steps to level the playing field by giving singles a privilege instead of a penalty. Wow!

"Income of Single-member Households Falls 10%"
By Lee Hyo-sik
The Korea Times
Summary: Single South Koreans are in trouble. Those who live alone have seen their earnings drop 10% in the last financial quarter. In contrast, households of two, many of them presumably married-couple households, only experienced a decrease of 1.2%. In South Korea, single-headed households are projected to represent 20.2% of all households by the end of 2009.

"We Are Smart, Single, Happy Women"
China Daily
Summary: This brief op-ed speaks out against labelling single women over 30 as damaged goods who are too picky, too career-driven, or too wounded from previous relationships.


11/24/09

"Call of the Cougars"
Evening Herald
Summary: Looks like Ireland has caught the cougar bug. An Irish online dating site survey of 4,500 participants has found that a third of single women in their forties would like to date younger men, while 18% of single men under 40 would be interested in dating older women. Of course, this provides an excuse to reexamine the whole trend, including how it started, who popularized it, which services have arisen to cater to it, and why men and women would be interested in it in the first place. Another day, same old story.

"Home for the Holidays...and Every Other Day"
Social & Demographic Trends: Pew Research Center
Summary: Even though single-headed households have been increasing, a new Pew study of 1,028 respondents shows that one-person households are actually declining slightly, especially among the young. Of single adults in the 18-34 age demographic, 10% said they had been forced to move back in with their parents this year, and another 12% said they had resorted to living with roommates. About 15% said they are delaying marriage due to the recession. Check out this study for a lot more facts and figures that paint a revelatory picture of Americans who live alone.

"Hot Moms Turn on Charm to Help Others"
By Kathy Rumelski
The London Free Press
Summary: Single Women in Motherhood (SWIM), a Canadian organization that "provides positive programming and support for single moms" is using single mothers as calendar girls to raise money.

"Partnership Creates Help for Homeless"
By Mark Price
Charlotte Observer
Summary: Homeless shelters in Charlotte, NC unite to help each other deal with an influx of homeless single women and single moms.

"Singles Industry Thriving Despite Downturn"
By Jane Han
The Korea Times
Summary: Businesses in South Korea are gearing up for a surge in single customers. Restaurants are adding more tables for solo diners, supermarkets are packaging food for one, department stores are selling downsized appliances...Once again, the rest of the world is beating us to the answers, folks.

"Study: 79% of Single Israeli Women Harassed at Workplace"
By Dana Weiler-Pollak
Haartez
Summary: Yikes! A nearly unbelievable 79% of single women in Israel say they've been victims of sexual harassment at work as compared to just 15% of married women. Even more frighteningly, only 3% reported it.


11/25/09

"Bag a Bloke by Christmas"
By Ellie White
The Sun
Summary: Can you imagine if the title of this one was "Bed a B**ch by Christmas"? Just sayin'. Matthew (cough) Hussey, a dating coach from the UK, doles out advice to single women with their eyes open for mate material. It's the same old same old--be friendly and approachable, make eye contact and smile, ask him about himself, blah blah blah.

"Choice Moms Announces Survey That Puts a Face on Women Who Choose to Be Single Mothers"
PR.com
Summary: The Human Fertility Journal has published a study from the University of Cambridge called "'Mom by Choice, Single by Life's Circumstance...' Findings from a Large Scale Survey of the Experiences of Single Mothers by Choice" by Dr. Vasanti Jadva, et al. The survey of 291 intentionally single moms shows that they comprise a distinct group that tends to be Caucasian, highly educated, upper-middle class, and in their mid- to late thirties. The majority (75%) conceived with the aid of sperm donors, and another 12% adopted. All of the single mothers said they were happy they had decided to have children, but half would have preferred to parent with a partner. Nevertheless, 73% believed they were having "fewer difficulties" or "similar difficulties" in comparison to other mothers, and 59% said it was "not important at all" or "not very important" to find a significant other in the future. Most of the single mothers (81%) had provided male role models for their children and thought that this was "very important" or "somewhat important." This is a very rich study and includes a lot of other information about the concerns of single moms by choice and how they relate to their families and communities. So, if you're interested in this topic, you may want to take the time to read the actual paper rather than the press release, which, inexplicably, seizes this opportunity to dredge up old studies that have implied negative outcomes for children of single parents, ignoring studies that contradict those findings.


11/26/09

"A 140-year-old Request from Famous Kingston Native"
By Casey Meserve
Wicked Local Kingston
Summary: Now here's a man who was ahead of his time! When Ichabod Washburn of Kingston, MA died in 1868, he left an endowment specifically for unmarried women that is still covering their winter heating expenses to this day.

"A Two-day Report: Poverty in Augusta"
By Sarah Day Owen
The Augusta Chronicle
Summary: Single mothers are almost three more likely than any other demographic to live in poverty. The state of Georgia's rate is even higher. This story profiles one of them.

"Cougars on the Prowl in Portsmouth"
By Rachel Forrest
Seacoastonline.com
Summary: This rather misleading article seemingly promises to question stereotypes about cougars. Are they really all ubersuccessful, gorgeous, confident women who want committed relationships like they want undereye bags? But then the journalist veers into the same territory that's been covered a zillion times. Oh, well.

"Early Influences May Cause Struggle with Poverty"
By Walter C. Jones
The Augusta Chronicle
Summary: In its continuing series, The Augusta Chronicle looks at factors that make single mothers vulnerable to poverty. Growing up in a single-parent or impoverished family, dropping out of high school, and lacking a strong system of familial support are a few of the risks mentioned here.

"Movie Review: Old Dogs"
By Mike Tyrkus
VideoHound's MovieRetriever.com
Summary: The Hollywood machine is stepping up its hatred of single men. Now they're not only commitmentphobes, slackers, or playboys but "old dogs." Lovely. Old Dogs stars Robin Williams and John Travolta as a loser-in-love-cum-suddenly-single-dad and, yep, a playboy, who bond while babysitting for Williams' long-lost kids. Of course they're terrible pseudoparents because everyone knows single men are incompetent with children. This review mainly deals with the quality of the film as compared to others in its genre and doesn't address the social questions it evokes. So I'll ask the question: Why are single males once again reduced to these silly stereotypes?

"Prison Abscondee Used Match.com to Prey on Vulnerable Women"
By Miranda Newey
this is Cheshire
Summary: Dear readers, this is why you need to be cautious when using Internet dating services. Meet Steven Truswell of the UK, who conned five single women out of tens of thousands in British pounds. He met the women through Match.com. People, do not give your savings to a new boyfriend (or girlfriend!) who promises to double or triple them through investments. If you want to play the market, take your money to a professional. Do not "lend" your hard-earned cash to a date with a sob story. If you're so inclined, help him or her apply for loans or government assistance, seek out charitable organizations, or find a second job. You are not a bank, and it is not your responsibility to rescue anyone from insolvency.

"Shakira Sings for the Single Ladies"
By Becky Broderick
YourTango
Summary: Singer Shakira says her new album is all about searching for a soul mate in an age in which it's harder than ever to find one. She says, "It's very much a common thing for women my age, at least my friends, to be in search for the right man and to be somehow dreaming of the prince who's going to come in and rescue them." Yeah, okay. But why encourage that? The music industry is one of the worst offenders for spreading singlism. When you think about it, probably 90% of songs that get radio play are about love. When are we going to see a musician write a whole album about being single that has nothing to do with dating and romance? Now that would be newsworthy!

"Unfair and Illogical Crackdown"
By Eum Eul-soon
JoongAng Daily
Summary: In the wake of an announcement that South Korea will push into overdrive prosecution of women, most of whom are single, and doctors who participate in abortions, the writer wonders why single men don't also share in the blame when the technology exists to identify them. While Singletude agrees that men and women should be held equally responsible for unplanned pregnancy, this op-ed seems to be proposing the wrong solution. Instead of devising new ways to punish single parents, shouldn't South Koreans promote tolerance toward them and their children? More widespread sex education and support for single moms is all well and good, but sometimes unplanned pregnancies happen, despite the best intentions. Those single parents don't deserve to be permanently stigmatized--or, worse, jailed--because of it. Also, the author has a funny idea that single fathers are more blameworthy than single mothers because men should be the ones responsible for birth control. "It takes two to tango" applies here.


11/27/09

"Bolivia: Women Clamour for Right to Land"
By Franz Chavez
IPS
Summary: It's hard for Americans, who weren't alive before women had the right to vote, to imagine that there are still countries in which unmarried females can't own property. Bolivia is one of those countries. Although there are laws on the books that permit single women to be landowners, the reality of discriminatory practices makes it nearly impossible for them to do so. The National Meeting on Women's Access to Land convened to raise awareness and propose solutions. Representatives from different parts of Bolivia are interviewed about progress in their own communities, some of which are faring much better than others. However, the Bolivian government claims that the number of land titles granted to women has increased more than five times over since 2003. An excellent article that is a close runner-up for the Singles With Singletude Award.

Singleschmucker Award
"Chatting with a Signer of the 'Manhattan Declaration'"
By Steven Thrasher
The Village Voice
Summary: Bet you were thinking I forgot about the Singleschmucker, huh? No such luck. Singlist media forces, there is no escape for you! Get ready to jump all over this one, guys, because I know you will. It's an interview with Dr. Ronald Sider, a professor of theology and founder of a group called Evangelicals for Social Action. Sider is against gay marriage. That may or may not be the part that upsets you depending on your own beliefs about marriage in general and gay marriage in particular. The part that will most certainly upset Singletude readers is the reason Sider gives for restricting marriage to heterosexual couples. First of all, according to Sider, the sole purpose of marriage is "to protect making babies." So, naturally, couples who can't "make babies" shouldn't have the right to marry. Sider doesn't explain how he would apply this logic to infertile heterosexual couples or couples who simply don't want children. In conjunction with this, you'll notice some fearmongering about single-parent families. Second, Sider says, "It's not true somebody who is living in a relationship, which is not marriage, should have the rights of marriage." Well, if he thinks long-term couples should be relegated to an underclass of citizens who don't get special privileges, then I guess it's out of the question in his mind that singles should enjoy equality. In his defense, he also has some good things to say about the overblown position of sexual relationships in our lives: "Our culture would be vastly better if we put more effort on friendships, between men and men, and women and women, and men and women, than so much into sex." But that doesn't excuse the other singlist attitudes.

"Retirement and Risks: Heir Wraps"
By Annie Shaw
American Chronicle
Summary: In the US, we have the estate tax. In Great Britain, they have the inheritance tax. By any name, it permits marital partners to inherit from each other freely but penalizes everyone else. This article explores various strategies to help British beneficiaries avoid heavy taxation.

"Thanksgiving Meals Offered to All in the Spirit of Service"
By Nestor Ramos
Roc Now
Summary: The Open Door Mission in Rochester, NY served Thanksgiving dinner to 350-400 needy people, mostly single men.


11/28/09

"Attagirl, Women-only Vacations"
By Anita Aikara
DNA
Summary: Girls-on-the-Go, a travel club for Indian single women over a thousand members strong, provides an opportunity to meet new friends, take advantage of group discounts, and rely on safety in numbers. Coupled women can participate too as long as they're willing to leave their mates at home. In an effort to accomodate female interests, the group trips have a different feel to them than mixed tours; the pace is slower, and there are more opportunities for shopping.

Singles With Singletude Award
"Great Indian Marriage Obsession"
By Vijay Nagaswami
The Hindu
Summary: Sometimes you have to save the best for last. A lot of fantastic articles about singles come out of India. Because the unmarried have been oppressed there for so long, Indians are sensitive to singlism in ways much of the West is not. This one starts with the question "Why do even 'liberal' parents sometimes find it difficult to accept that their children may not want to get married at all?" and only gets better. The writer, a psychiatrist, continues, "I'm always astonished that even the most hitherto broad-minded and free-spirited Indians change dramatically when their children approach ‘marriageable' age....As a result, bemused 20-somethings are rushed into an institution they are as yet ill-prepared to engage with and end up in increasing numbers in over-crowded and under-staffed Family Courts..." Nagaswami calls for an end to this "marriage obsession" that subjugates equally important facets of a single's life, such as education and career, to the almighty wedding ceremony, urging parents not to force their children into marriage for the sake of tradition. Drawing on professional experience, the article makes a case for freedom of choice as the foremost predictor of a happy marriage. But it doesn't stop there. Ultimately, Nagaswami argues that marriage isn't necessary at all; singles who want to remain single should be allowed to do so: "There are enough single people who lead perfectly comfortable lives to testify to the fact that marriage is not the be all and end all of adult life. Sure, they may get bored and lonely at times, but then, so do married people." Amen to that!

"Number of People Opting for Anonymous HIV Testing Jumps 20% from 2008"
By Hoe Yeen Nie
channelnewsasia.com
Summary: Singaporeans requesting HIV tests have increased by 20%, partly due to the fact that more clinics are offering the service. However, this suggests that more Singaporeans may also be engaging in irresponsible sexual behavior. So far, nine out of ten new cases of HIV occur in single men, but diagnoses appear to be on the rise in women, too, most of whom are married.

"Personal Finance Through Life's Stages: Singles and Money Matters"
By Nimi Akinkugbe
next
Summary: Too many singles procrastinate about financial planning, sure that they'll get around to it someday only to find that someday has arrived sooner than they expected. This article suggests setting long-term financial goals early on and saving towards them from a young age; creating a budget; setting aside an account for crises; protecting yourself with health insurance, even if it's a high-deductible or hospital-only plan; planning for retirement as soon as you start working; and drawing up a will.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


Don't forget to enter the Singletude giveaway contest for your chance to win a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer from SingleEdition.com! Time is running out!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singles in the News: 11/15/09-11/21/09

Welcome to "Singles in the News"! This week, single men, needy singles, and our single British cousins were a recurring theme.



11/15/09

"Women with Single Status More Successful Than Others: Survey"
DNA
Summary: Out of almost 1,600 single women surveyed at Lucknow University in India, 93% said that singles are more effective on the job. "All agreed that their hassle-free life was giving them great satisfaction from work as well as motivating them to do well in professional areas....Most of the single women were so satisfied with life that they were not willing to swap places with their 'happily married' counterparts." Despite reports of rampant discrimination including sexual harassment and restricted mobility, 53% of the single women studied called marriage an "'overrated institution,'" and 65% said it wasn't important to have a husband. One of the unusual aspects of this study, which increases its credibility, is that its participants hailed from all socioeconomic demographics. Therefore, we know that these enlightened attitudes about marital status weren't limited to an educated or professionally successful elite.


11/16/09

"A Haven for City's Homeless"
The Lancashire Evening Post
Summary: A shelter in England shares the Christmas spirit with homeless singles and helps them attain job skills.

Singleschmucker Award
"High Crimes: 10 Military Towns Are Among the Country's Most Dangerous"
By Bruce Watson
DailyFinance
Summary: And why would that be? You got it! Because so many single men live there. According to the article, "Military bases tend to have high concentrations of young, single men living together in very close quarters....Young men, separated from their parents, wives, families and communities, may feel more temptation to commit certain types of crimes." While it's true that young people and men are more likely to wind up on the wrong side of the law than are older people and women, does marital status have anything to do with it? The truth is that singles in some age groups are more likely to commit certain crimes, and marrieds in other age groups are more likely to commit other crimes. (See Criminology by Stephan Hurwitz.) Furthermore, not all studies that claim to show an association between singleness and crime examine marital status apart from age and socioeconomic status, variables that have well-established links to criminal activity. Even in cases in which it can be proven that single status is correlated with criminal behavior, that doesn't mean that marriage would have a preventive effect. Criminals tend to start offending at a young age, before most men are married. So it's equally likely, if not more so, that men who are offenders don't get married as it is that marriage has some transformational power that reduces the likelihood a man will offend. All that said, wait till you reach the end of this article and realize how the journalist has been misleading you! As it turns out, although some of the highest crime rates, especially in property crime, occur near military bases, the median crime rate in military towns is well below the national average. Gee...Looks like someone's theory just got blown out of the water! And shame on Watson for burying this crucial bit of info in the last paragraph! An easy win for the Singleschmucker.

"More Online Shopping Expected This Christmas"
RTE Business
Summary: A study of online shoppers in Ireland finds that single males ages 18-34 account for about two-thirds of all Internet purchases.

"Single Women's Crusade Against Orthodoxy"
By Ramesh Kumar Paudel
Republica
Summary: Nepal's Women Welfare Advocacy Forum, which has been fighting for the rights of single women since 2005, has opened a cyber cafe and is teaching computer fundamentals at a discount for families headed by single mothers. The proceeds will be used to financially assist single female entrepreneurs.

"Unhappy Single; Likely Unhappy Married"
By JJ Smith
BSN
Summary: A relationship columnist with loud and clear singletude emphasizes the value of completing your own life rather than expecting someone else to complete it. Marriage, she maintains, is no cure-all, and the single state provides an excellent opportunity for exploring your own interests and building your own life. "If you are unhappy single, you will likely be unhappy married, except then you can blame your spouse instead of yourself for your unhappiness....Being single is not a problem, but an opportunity to reinvest in your life and your spiritual growth. Maximize your career, interests, hobbies, and relationships while you're single, and make that time the best days of your life....Nothing outside of you can produce long-lasting satisfaction and happiness--no mate, money, job, house, or car..." Smith goes on to differentiate the terms "lonely" and "alone" as they apply to singles. None of this is new, but it all bears repeating.


11/17/09

Singles With Singletude Award
"Key Words: Singled Out"
By Adam Key
The Houstonian
Summary: A single male college student, age 25, dreads Thanksgiving because he knows his family will give him the fifth degree about why he's not married. The observant Key writes that this line of questioning "presumes that I plan to get married, and more offensively, implies that there is something wrong with not being married already...If you're single and 25, society starts treating you in much the same way I imagine they used to treat lepers. People legitimately think that there is something wrong with you if you are not actively seeking a mate. You're immediately assumed to either be someone trying to have sex with as many women as possible, or a gigantic loser who couldn't get a date to save his life. Either way, like our leprous brethren of yesteryear, we end up shunned....The truth is, I am rather happy living the way I currently am, and it's a lifestyle that I could not maintain if I was in a committed relationship." He goes on to explain how being single allows him to fully pursue his studies and friendships in a way that he couldn't with a partner around and concludes with the eloquent statement, "Simply because you don't have a significant other does not make you insignificant." Somehow, I think this young man has a tremendous future ahead of him! We'll start him on his way with a Singles With Singletude Award.

"Wanted: Senior Hotties Looking for Love"
By Niyaz Pirani
The Orange County Register
Summary: A Californian widower has started a singles club just for seniors with a focus on helping other widows and widowers come to terms with loss and move on.


11/18/09

"Advocates Call for a 'Safe Park' for the Homeless in Every Kitsap City"
By Rachel Pritchett
Kitsap Sun
Summary: Homelessness is a big problem in Bremerton, WA, especially for single women and single moms. The possibility of a "tent city" or a "safe park" where the homeless could sleep in their cars is discussed.

"Bells Shoals Concert to Help Needy"
By Yvette C. Hammett
Brandon News & Tribune
Summary: A concert will benefit struggling single moms in Florida.

"Elsie and Arnold Could Win 1m in Sport Cash"
By Becky Inman
Northamptonshire Evening Telegraph
Summary: Sorry, don't look at me. I can't help you with that. The "Elsie" referred to here is a British euphemism for a single, retired senior woman, and an "Arnold" is her male counterpart. This article describes Sport England's efforts to entice this demographic to make physical fitness a priority.

"The End of the Bachelor Pad"
By Kate Burt
The Independent
Summary: In the global recession, unemployment has hit men in the UK much harder than women, and the well-heeled bachelors among them have been forced to downsize their upscale, gadget-filled pads and move out of the prohibitively expensive capital or in with roommates or girlfriends. Without the benefit of two incomes, these single men find their quality of life downgraded as they sell off prized possessions that don't fit in studio apartments and forgo the social gatherings they used to host. More evidence that there is something very wrong with a socioeconomic structure in which an individual can't support himself adequately on his full-time income.

"FoodShare Still Dysfunctional in State Hands"
By Tom Held
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Summary: The Hunger Task Force of Wisconsin estimates that the state owes food stamp applicants approximately $11.7 million. Why the backlog? Because low-income, child-free single adults have been applying in record numbers.

"The PeopleFinders Network Announces Lie Detector Applications for the iPhone: 'Stud or Dud' and 'Are They Really Single' Help Daters Separate the Good from the Bad"
Earth Times
Summary: Billed as a revolutionary technology for single daters, these new iPhone apps promise to let users run spontaneous, ridiculously cheap (think $0.99) background searches from wherever they happen to be. That cutie at the bar said he's single? Call his bluff while he's in the men's room. Your coffee date said she's 29? Catch her in her lie while she grabs her latte. Is fingertip access to confidential info crucial or creepy? You decide.

"Single in the Suburbs"
By Benn Farrell
Highlands Ranch Herald
Summary: The second part of a series on singles in suburban Colorado profiles one divorced professional male's foray into Internet dating and the local bar scene.

"Single Londoners Leading the Way on 'Soli-days'"
By Rashid Razaq
London Evening Standard
Summary: Brits are loving solo travel. Internet travel agency ebookers.com reports that 15% of its clients in the last year booked trips for one, with men outnumbering women two to one. Single Brits traveling alone are also more likely to be professionals aged 40-60 who hail from London. Solo's Holidays, which books travel packages for singles, claims that the number of solo travelers in England now rivals the number of couples and families.

"Our View--Hunger Becomes National Security Issue"
Daily 49er
Summary: According to the Department of Agriculture, some 49 million American households suffer from so-called "food insecurity," a euphemism for hunger. These are disproportionately single female-headed families.


11/19/09

"Homeless Vets to Receive Gifts from UM"
By Josh Potter
The Montana Kaimin
Summary: A transitional housing program for Montana veterans is accepting donated Christmas gifts for their Adopt-a-Veteran initiative. A case manager says, "'These are single adults without any kind of family contact....Many of these guys have not had a personal gift in years.'"


11/20/09

"Single Women Are Hit Hard by the Recession"
By Francine Huff
WalletPop
Summary: Currently, 10.3% of single women are unemployed as opposed to 5.7% of married women. Yet single women are the ones who can least afford to be without an income. From the article: "Unmarried women who lose their jobs may be more at risk of having to give up their homes, cash out retirement accounts or even end up in homeless shelters. Many of them lack basic health care for themselves and their children and have little access to financial resources that could tide them over until they find a job." Single men aren't immune to this disturbing trend, either. In fact, it's even worse for them, with 14.1% of single men unemployed versus 6.5% of married men. While it's wonderful that this article is drawing attention to an important employment disparity, note how only single women make it to the headline. Furthermore, the journalist excuses the higher rate of unemployment for single men with the rationalization that they aren't as needy because most of them don't have children living with them. Again, it feels a little self-defeating to pick on a writer who's clearly on the side of singles, but I can't help thinking that every adult should be entitled to a living wage and fair treatment on the job because every life has worth, not just the lives of the very young.

"The Truth About Dating: Do You Have a Dating Addiction?"
By Steve Penner
Seacoastonline.com
Summary: A professional matchmaker wonders whether some singles can become so enamored of dating that they never want to pick one partner. Uhhhh...yeah. Isn't this what eligible bachelors have been accused of doing since time immemorial? The writer defines a dating addict as "constantly searching to meet the perfect person, feeling that there is always someone out there who is just a little better than the person that he or she might currently be dating." Sure enough, he plucks one of those eligible bachelors out of his client pool as an illustration. This is hardly an uncharted phenomenon, but the article is worth a skim if only to get inside the mind of one such "player."

"Warren Co. Shelter Needs Personal-care Items"
By Elaine Trumpey
Cincinnati.com
Summary: The only shelter for singles in Warren County, OH is in need of "personal care products and cleaning and paper supplies." Despite public funding, it is always overcrowded and in the red.

"When Parting Really Is Sweet: Divorce Cakes Sparked by Trend for Separation Celebrations"
By Luke Salkeld
Mail Online
Summary: Feast your eyes on these humorous, if somewhat twisted, "divorce cakes," which top off trendy divorce parties in the UK. In explanation, one cake baker says, "'Divorce can be a horrible thing but I would like to think comical divorce cakes can help lighten the mood.'"


11/21/09

"Love & Other Personalities"
By Bryony Gordon
The Sydney Morning Herald
Summary: An interview with Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?, details her theory that a neurochemical cocktail is responsible for creating one of four main personality types in every individual and that these types determine who we are attracted to. It all seems a little simplistic to me, but give it a read and reach your own conclusions. Fisher also ponders the sociopolitical changes that have allowed women to be more selective in choosing their mates and how that has resulted in a surge in single people. Unfortunately, she refers to long-term singleness as an "extended adolescence." Beyond that, she has some rather original opinions about things like romance, sex differences, traditional gender roles, and remarriage. I'm not sure they're supported by research, but they're interesting.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


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