Fly Solo: Going on Vacation Alone, Postscript

As I wrapped up my "Fly Solo" series yesterday, I realized that I'd left out one more answer to singles who claim that traveling alone is boring, and this is an important one, I think.

If the prospect of traveling alone sounds dull, uninteresting, or "no fun," maybe you haven't yet learned to enjoy your own company.

We humans are social creatures, there's no denying that. But we all need some time on our own, away from the demands of the daily grind, to recharge, regroup, and listen to our own thoughts. If you're a creative person, this "me time" probably plays an essential role in your productivity, and there's no better place to indulge in it than in exotic surroundings that fire the imagination. Even if you're not the artistic type, these moments alone can be an uninterrupted time to reflect on who you are and where you're going. And there's nothing like the majesty of our natural world or the mystery of its ruins to put our contemporary lives in perspective.

Frankly, how we undertake travel, its hardships and hassles, its demands and revelations, can also teach us a thing or two about ourselves. As fun as vacations are meant to be, they also test our ability to meet organizational, navigational, communicational, and sometimes physical challenges. Thus, a trip can be a growth experience that highlights which skills we've mastered and which could use improvement.

If you can't stand to be alone, if the mere thought of a few days by yourself fills you with unspeakable dread, maybe you need to examine why that is. If you're uncomfortable with your own thoughts, maybe you don't like the direction they're headed in. Perhaps there are things about yourself you'd rather stay buried in the busy-ness of your day-to-day routine.

If that's the case, you could lose yourself in the bustle of Paris or flee to the bleak moonscape of Antarctica and still never outrun the thoughts that haunt you.


How do you use your time alone with yourself? Is it productive? Does it help you gain insight into yourself and/or your direction in life? Are you comfortable being alone?


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Fly Solo: Going on Vacation Alone, Part III

Single folks, we're down to our final excuse for not taking the plunge into your own version of the Blue Lagoon all by yourself! Drum roll, please...



Excuse:
"Traveling alone is boring."


Answer:
Newsflash: Just because you're traveling single doesn't mean you have to travel alone. Yesterday, we touched on traveling with a tour group for added protection in foreign surroundings. But safety isn't the only benefit of traveling with other singles in tow.

Remember that old paradox "if a tree falls in a forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound"? If you feel like you haven't seen a sunset till you've shared it with other eyes, maybe you'd enjoy the companionship of a tour group. These days, there are tour groups specifically for singles, so you know you won't be the odd one out amongst honeymooners and families of four. If you sign up for a singles tour group, you'll automatically have someone you can joke with about the native cuisine, complain to about the unseasonable heat, and rhapsodize with about the mountain views. And if you're lucky, you might start a real-world friendship or romantic relationship that outlasts your sojourn in paradise. Some singles tour groups will even give you a helping hand by playing matchmaker, pairing you up with someone of similar background and interests or facilitating activities designed to introduce you to your fellow travelers.

Here's a list of just a few tour groups for singles (a Google search for "singles travel" will turn up many more):
Singles Travel International
All Singles Travel
Singles Travel Company
Adventures For Singles
Singles Travel Service

But for some singles, the thought of wedging into a tour bus with 20 other vacationers and their backpacks and digicams is enough to induce an acute attack of social phobia. If you're one of them, traveling on your own may not be such a hardship.

But, Elsie, you're protesting, just because I don't relish playing inadvertent footsie with sweaty strangers squeezed into a duck tour boat doesn't mean I wouldn't relish the same, slightly less cramped experience with friends, family, or that elusive love interest. Traveling alone is boring!

My reply to that is: Do you know it's boring, or do you just assume it is? Have you ever tried it, or are you basing your opinion on the marketable myth of the poor, lonely single traveler, used to sell extra tickets since the first commercial flight?

If you haven't tried it, give solo travel a chance before you dismiss it. Let me ask you this: When you go shopping, do you feel bored? Is it just not fun because you don't have anyone with you while you're admiring your hip-hugging Calvin Kleins in the mirror or fiddling with the exposure settings on that Canon Digital Rebel?

Let's be honest. Almost anything you do in life can be more enjoyable with someone else along for the ride. But that doesn't mean it's a dull, unfulfilling, meaningless waste of time. If that were true, you might as well conclude that your whole life is boring and just not worth it because you're living it single.

Chances are your life is pretty interesting. It may not be everything you want yet, but you wouldn't write it off as a snoozefest. And if your day-to-day routine is kinda cool, how much cooler would it be to break up that routine? Frankly, if you can plant your feet in front of the Taj Mahal or the Eiffel Tower or Machu Picchu and call it boring, dinner and a movie with a mere human being isn't going to interest you either.

Besides, if you're depending on a partner to go with you on your dream trip, you may never see Big Ben or the Sistine Chapel or Red Square. Calm down--I'm not suggesting that you'll never be in a relationship again. But maybe the love of your life won't have the time, money, or even the desire to travel to the places that capture your imagination. Maybe your future mate will already have gone there when he or she was single! And once kids come along, forget about that 14-hour flight to Japan or that 10'x12' bungalow in Bora Bora.

Remember those folk stories about jolly wanderers like Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill, and Paul Bunyan? They were single. And they were jolly. With no responsibilities to tie them down, they roamed the earth at their leisure, and they did a bang-up job of it.

Go and do ye likewise. :)



If you've ever traveled alone, tell us about it. Did you have any problems on your own? If so, how did you overcome them? Have you ever traveled as part of a tour group? If so, would you recommend it to others? What tips would you give to other single travelers?



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Fly Solo: Going on Vacation Alone, Part II

Continuing with yesterday's theme, Singletude presents more excuses for holing up at home just because you're single and, more importantly, some irrefutable answers. (Just try to refute them! Just try! I dare you! :P)



Excuse:
"Travelling alone isn't safe."

Answer:
Sometimes it's not. It's also not safe to walk down that dark, deserted shortcut to your apartment at night, nor is it safe to sleep with your window open in the summer to let in the cool air. It's not safe to give a stranger a dollar to make a call at your local gas station, and it's not safe to leave your keys in the car while you run up to your friend's doorstep to drop off a birthday gift.

With the exception of widely recognized high-crime neighborhoods, safety isn't about where you are. It's about the precautions you take. You can be every bit as unsafe in your own backyard as you are in a hotel in London, perhaps more so since criminals are apt to strike when they're familiar with your routine.

There are definitely opportunists who prey on travellers. But if you keep your head glued to your shoulders and remember that just because you're here to relax, you shouldn't relax your guard, it will be much harder for them to take advantage of you.


Here are some tips for safe solo travel:

1. Don't do anything you wouldn't do at home.
If you wouldn't leave a bar with a stranger back home or hike out to some hidden cave with that friendly guy you just met, don't do it on vacation. No matter how much your surroundings may resemble paradise, not everyone is an angel. If you do strike up a friendship with a stranger, don't give him or her your room number under any circumstances. If you want to meet for dinner or drinks, meet at the restaurant.

2. Don't carry a lot of cash and keep what you have close to you at all times.
If there's a safe at the hotel, make use of it. If not, it's still better to leave your cash in an unobtrusive place in your locked hotel room (maybe tucked in the bottom corner of your suitcase) than to bring all of it along for the ride. If there's a kleptomaniac among the hotel's housekeeping staff, at least there'll be a much better chance of tracing your cash than if it's lost or stolen on the street. If you have a credit card, write down the account number and the phone number of your financial institution and keep that info in a separate place. That way, if you lose the card itself, you'll still be able to call and report it stolen.

Take only what you need for the day and wear it close to you, preferably in your front pocket or in a small bag worn diagonally across your body or otherwise clipped or secured to you. Fanny packs won't win on Project Runway, but they'll keep your cash safe. Think twice about storing currency in a backpack. If you can't see it, you can't see that pickpocket reaching into the flap. Be careful too of large, open or floppy bags, which are also enticing to wandering fingers. And one more thing: If you can, divide the money you carry so that most of it is, say, in your bag, while the smaller portion is snug in your pocket. That way, if you do get ripped off one way or the other, you'll still have enough to get you back to the hotel.

3. Be aware of your surroundings.
This includes both people and places. Familiarize yourself with a map before you head out so you won't have to stand in the middle of the street like a deer in headlights, sporting that dazed tourist look for any predator who might set you in his sights. Stay close to other tourists, but beware of people who brush against you or start a commotion nearby. These are both time-honored tricks of pickpockets. Always keep in mind where you are in relation to your home base. If you must ask for directions, ask certified personnel in visitor centers, hotels, police stations, or even shops or restaurants rather than stop a stranger.

4. Keep emergency info close at hand. Always carry ID, phone numbers of relatives back home, the number of your hotel, the number of the American embassy or consulate if traveling abroad, and any essential medical history including allergies and current medications (if you have a bracelet for a specific condition, make sure you wear it). If you don't speak the predominant language, carry a pocket guide of traveler's phrases. Also, hang onto the customer service number for your credit account. A few years ago, I was surprised to learn that my MasterCard provides all kinds of complimentary services for customers in crisis overseas. Yours may, too.

5. Stay in touch with family and friends at home. Call or email them nightly and let them know where you are and where you're going in the day ahead. Leave a copy of your itinerary, including hotel numbers, with at least one trusted person at home. Ask them to call your hotel--and the American consulate or embassy if necessary--and start tracking you down if you're incommunicado for 24 hours.

6. When in doubt, take the road more traveled.
It should go without saying that you shouldn't isolate yourself when traveling alone. Stick to your travel route, and don't let unaffiliated native guides or drivers entice you with discounted fees.

7. Lock up.
This should go without saying, too, but lock your doors, lock your windows, lock your bags. This goes for cars, hotels, or anywhere else you're parking yourself for a short-term stay. DO NOT assume that just because it's remote and beautiful, it must be crime-free.

8. Travel in groups.
There's always safety in numbers. Many resorts and attractions offer guided tour groups. In fact, some singles book a whole vacation with a tour group, from takeoff to touchdown. Such tour groups, which are increasingly catering to singles, are a risk-free opportunity to fulfill your travel dreams. By connecting you with a knowledgeable tour guide and other singles, tour groups are your safety cushion in case of an emergency, a travel planner for the disorganized, and a meet and greet for the lonesome. Which brings us to our final excuse....

....But that's for next time. ;)


If you're a single who travels alone, what tips do you have for safe vacationing?



Fun Link of the Day

Fly Solo: Going on Vacation Alone, Part I

As we plow through the snowbanks that accumulate in the dead of winter, tunneling onward toward spring, I hear single friends sigh over photos of the Caribbean, imagining the vacations they'd take if only they had someone to go with.

Whenever I see a single person wistfully close a travel magazine, my heart sinks for them. Not because they don't have the perfect partner to accompany them on the vacation of a lifetime but because they won't let themselves experience the vacation of a lifetime on their own.

So many singles long to trek through the jungles of Costa Rica or climb the peak of Kilimanjaro but procrastinate because they think they can't afford the trip on their own, worry about the safety of solo travel, or fear they'll be bored without a partner to share the adventure. In fact, many singles spend so much time complaining about why they can't go on their dream trip that they neglect to figure out how they can.

Repressed globetrotters, I'm going to make it easier for you to stop making excuses and go swim with the dolphins in Florida, take a whitewater rafting trip through the Grand Canyon, or go wherever it is you have your heart set on going. All by yourself. I'm going to counter every one of your rationalizations and stalling techniques so that you feel more comfortable completing your world tour with or without a partner. Ready? Here we go:



Excuse
"I don't know how to plan a trip."

Answer
Planning a vacation can seem daunting if you've always left the dirty work to someone else. But gone are the days of plotting out your route in magic marker on a map you have no idea how to fold back into tenths. Between the big five travel sites--Expedia, Travelocity, Orbitz, Priceline, and Yahoo Travel--and Mapquest, you won't have to go it alone.

Your first order of business is, of course, choosing a destination. There are still plenty of travel guides in Barnes & Noble, and yes, I recommend picking up a few. Personally, I'm a fan of the Frommer's series, but almost any guidebook will do, so pick the one that seems the most comprehensive and user-friendly to you. Don't be daunted by how thick these books are. Most cover large territories or whole states, so you can jump right to the city or region that interests you.

Nowadays, many people think the web is the place to be when researching tourist attractions, but I still recommend that you carry a guidebook unless you plan to tote your laptop everywhere you go. You can print out info, too, but then you might as well let Fodor's do the work for you and buy a book. That's not to say the Internet can't be a rich resource for travel ideas. It can, and you'll definitely want to type your destination into the Google search bar and see what pops up. But in my experience, web searches can return so many pages that it's easy to get overwhelmed. Plus, it can be hard to distinguish unbiased opinions from company-sponsored reviews trying to sell you on their personal sherpas or endangered turtle watch cruises. So browse the web but do so with your eyes pinned open and a whole tablespoon of salt at the ready.

Once you know where you're headed, it's time to figure out how to get there and where to stay. Whether you're charting an expedition to Outer Mongolia or just a weekend getaway, the aforementioned big five travel sites feature discounted flights, hotels, and car rentals. You can book them separately or as a one-step package deal, which offers less flexibility but deeper discounts and freedom from all travel planning responsibility. Just punch in your credit card number, show up at the airport, and you're good to go.

Just a word of caution when booking online: Although the prices are cheap, hotels are infamous for dumping their least desirable rooms on the online market. This isn't the case across the board, but if you want to make sure you get a room tailored to your specifications (eg., a nonsmoking room, a room far from the elevator, a room above the third floor, etc.), call the hotel directly or book through their own web site. Furthermore, when scheduling a flight, although the big five travel sites appear to let you choose seats, the airlines don't always recognize your request. Again, if you want specific seating, call the airline or order tickets through their own web site.

With your reservations booked, it's time to consult Mapquest or Yahoo Maps. If you're travelling by car, these sites are indispensable. Simply enter your starting point and destination, and either site will give you step-by-step directions for the shortest route. I've used both sites for numerous car trips and have never been disappointed. Even if you're flying or arriving by some other mode of transport, if you plan to rent a car or even navigate by foot, you'll want to print out maps to the sights you want to see. They're lifesavers when you're in a strange city riddled with one-way streets and turning lanes that pop up out of nowhere, believe me.

Finally, don't forget to write your itinerary.

But, Elsie, you're thinking, this sounds dangerously like writing an outline for English class, and that sounds like--yuck!--work. This is supposed to be a vacation! The point is to go out of your way not to work.

The problem is that if you don't organize your vacation into something resembling a schedule, you're going to beat yourself up for missing Artsy Fartsy's Most Amazing Laser Light Show Evah because you spent too much time being disappointed in the selection at Crafty Granny's World Renowned Quilting Faire. Your itinerary doesn't have to be eloquent or grammatically correct, trust me. ;) It just has to be relatively accurate.

To create an itinerary, remember that less is more. Pick a few attractions you're dying to see and relegate the others to your "maybe" list in case you have unexpected time to fill. While a few sights may not live up to their hype, it's likely that there will be more to see and do than anticipated, and if your schedule is too tight, you'll have to content yourself with skimming through exhibits or activities that are best appreciated in-depth. Reserve an hour's flex time on either end of any event to compensate for this as well as for transportation mishaps, long wait lines, or other delays. Remember to factor in travel, which should be easy with your Yahoo or Mapquest printouts since both give accurate estimates of time on the road, unless you encounter traffic. Try to plan your time-consuming must-sees for the morning and your more relaxing or skippable events for the late afternoon when you're tired and may just want to head back to the hotel.

Guess what? You've done it! You've planned a trip! See, that wasn't so hard, was it?

All right, all right. If you still can't fathom undertaking all this mapping and plotting, call a travel agent. As handy as do-it-yourself online travel sites are, they're still kind of like Lieutenant Data without the people skills. If you want to interact with a real person who will take full responsibility if she booked you a plane to Portland, Oregon instead of Portland, Maine, an agent is your best, uh, resort (no pun intended). They're more costly, but they'll save you time, worry, and inexplicably cancelled reservations.


Excuse
"I can't afford to go on vacation by myself."

Answer
Let me take a page from Barack Obama and say, "Yes, you can!"

Sure, it's helpful to split the expenses with someone, but that doesn't mean vacationing alone is beyond your means. So many singles have only travelled as half a couple that they mistakenly assume vacationing is all about five-star restaurants overlooking the yacht club and hotels with bellhops and valet parking.

The truth is you can travel cheaply if all you need at the end of the day are clean sheets and a shower. And be honest. When you stayed in all those Zagat-approved hotels with your exes, did you hang out in your room all day admiring the spectacular ocean view? No, you were out visiting the sites you came to see in the first place. So do yourself a favor and ditch the penthouse suite for a reasonably priced room where you can stash your stuff while you're off doing tourist-y things.

For good deals, check out the big five online travel sites mentioned above, but also try entering into a search engine the city you want to stay in or the attraction you want to see. Many times, a general search for "Yellowstone National Park" or "Orlando, FL" will return tourist-oriented web sites dedicated to promoting local accommodations. Price conscious singles should visit these smaller sites since they're likely to list more modest, affordable motels that might not make it onto the splashier sites. If the city has an official site, trust this one first.

If you're concerned about cleanliness, safety, or other issues, Travel Post, Trip Advisor, and the big five have reviews of almost every wayside lodging that ever hung a vacancy sign on the front porch. In my experience, the reviewers are pretty accurate, so take their advice into account, especially the most recent comments.

Also don't be afraid to consider hostels if "inexpensive" tops your priority list. Once upon a time, hostels were, well, a hostile environment for the out-of-towner. In cramped, musky dormitories, one could expect to bed down with unknown insects, bathe in view of 20 or 30 travellers of dubious hygiene, and possibly have the pleasure of waking to find one's wallet snatched by a sticky-fingered bunkmate. Nowadays, more hostels are offering private quarters, open cafeterias, and even wireless Internet on premises. To find a hostel and get the lowdown on it, try Hostels.com.

Of course, accommodations are only half the equation. Transportation is another significant expense. If you can, travel by ground. Most people prefer to drive, but if you don't have a car or don't feel comfortable exposing it to strange parking lots and unmanicured streets, public transportation is a wonderful, overlooked option. Bus lines like Greyhound boast service to 3,100 destinations around the country and cost half as much as air fare. Trains like Amtrak are comparable in speed and pricing and hold the trump card for dramatic scenery.

If you must take a plane, though, comparison shop for tickets at least a month in advance of your flight. The cheapest flights are, of course, the least convenient ones--"red eyes" that leave very early or very late, flights with at least one connection, and midweek departures. But if you're willing to compromise, you can save quite a bit of cash for dozens of strawberry daiquiris on that tropical beach in your future. I have found that the least expensive domestic airlines are Delta and Continental, but occasionally some of the others will have good promotional deals. Whichever you choose, if you chug a coffee and stay up till 12:00 AM on a Wednesday, you'll have a one-hour window to order at bottom-of-the-barrel rates when company computers release the previous week's reserved but unclaimed discount tickets. Also, don't forget to sign up for your favorite airline's frequent flyer miles program and patronize their affiliates so you earn miles between flights! :)

Now, one final word: Before you book anything, read the fine print pamphlets that come with your monthly credit card statements. (You wouldn't dream of throwing those away and adding to America's already engorged landfills, would you? ;)) Unbeknownst to you, that little piece of plastic may entitle you to big savings on hotel rooms, car rentals, and airline tickets. So don't leave home without it cuz it's everywhere you want to go. ;)



Ok. Travel plan...check. Affordability...check.

You're running out of excuses...Only two left for next time!



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