Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles

Singletude is a positive, supportive singles blog about life choices for the new single majority. It's about dating and relationships, yes, but it's also about the other 90% of your life--family, friends, career, hobbies--and flying solo and sane in this crazy, coupled world. Singletude isn't about denying loneliness. It's about realizing that whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, this single life is your life to live.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

"Anderson Woman Married 23 Times" by Konrad Marshall: A Singletude Response

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled blog posting to announce that Singletude has identified the first ever anti-singletude poster child, Linda Lou Wolfe of Anderson, IN, as reported by Konrad Marshall in an article, "Anderson Woman Married 23 Times."

Wolfe, who was born Linda Lou Taylor and is now 68, holds the Guinness world record for the most marriages of any female in a single lifetime. Her former husbands, apparently chosen for their aptitude to quickly and effectively end marriages, include a convict, a homeless man, and two who weren't even straight.

Perhaps desperate to wipe her slate clean in the eyes of God, Taylor Scott Street Smith Moyer Massie McMillan Berisford Chandler Essex, etc. married a Baptist minister, Glynn "Scotty" Wolfe, the male record holder for most marriages, becoming wife number 29. It seems the man of the cloth married so often to avoid the sin of premarital sex. His final marriage to Taylor, etc., a publicity stunt that never paid off, ended when he passed away shortly before their first anniversary.

Good thing he wasn't Muslim. He already got his share of virgins.

Wolfe advises singles to "just get married the once and stay married. I have not had a bed of roses, believe me." That is very true. Instead, she got cheated on, choked, beaten, and padlocked in a refrigerator by her dear hubbies. Nevertheless, she says, "I would get married again because, you know, it gets lonely."

I understand. I too get lonely when a man hasn't padlocked me in a refrigerator in awhile.

Seriously, if there was ever a person totally and utterly lacking in singletude, this must be it. One wonders what would happen to her if she let herself be single for a day. Would she explode like a piece of wedding cake smashed in a young bride's face? Would she melt like a groom's perspiring brow? Wolfe must've feared so. Why else would she have rushed 23 men to the altar--that's an average of one man almost every two years since she started her wedding spree at 16--even marrying one guy three times? (You know, after two times, you gotta figure something isn't working.)

Singletude readers, I don't think I even have to tell you to do as Wolfe says, not as she does. Marriage can be a celebration of a loving union between two people, or it can be a prop for someone who can't stand on his or her own two legs. It's a commitment that two individuals should enter into because they want to live their lives side by side, not because either of them won't have a life without the other. And those vows should be made thoughtfully and carefully, with the intention of fulfilling them, not with already in your bookmarks.

To people like Wolfe, I say if you can't marry for the right reasons, then don't marry at all. And mere "loneliness" is not a good enough reason! There are plenty of social organizations you can join to combat that, and none of them require a lawyer when you part ways with them. This woman needs a bumper sticker that says, "Reckless Marriages Destroy Lives."

Whew! Okay, I've said my piece. Or peace. Speak now, dear readers, or forever hold it. What do you think about Wolfe's 23 marriages? Do you think loneliness in itself is a good enough reason to marry? What do you think are good reasons to marry? How do you know when someone is the right one?


The Singlutionary said...

Oh wow. Heck. Oh my boogers! This is a perfect example of what not to do! This is worse than desperate dating! This is desperate marrying!

I usually don't like to focus on sexism but if a guy were married this many times our culture would consider him a pimp (and in a good way too).

However, anyone who marryies this many times is just dysfunctional. Sorry. No matter if they are male or female.

I've reposted this on my blog! I hope that is OK!

Welsh Girl said...

Quite aside from the lunacy of this woman, what were the men thinking? Surely you'd run a mile from a woman with that many failed marriages behind her? Oh, and think of the paperwork hassles in having had that many married names...

Anonymous said...

Amazing. Great post, Singletude! What a legal mess she must be after marrying 23 times - not to mention how socially awkward it must be to be "that woman" in a town of only 60,000. After 23 marriages, I imagine everyone really does know her name!

Thanks for alerting us to this insanity :) -- Lisa at Onely

Crystal Monae said...

At some point, some one, some where, some how, told her that she was insane and she still continued to do some thing! Some special form of CRAZY!

Clever Elsie said...

Singlutionary: Actually, did you notice that the last guy she married was the world record holder for the most male marriages? He had been married 28 times, and Taylor, etc. made 29! He was, of all things, a minister. I'd love to have heard what his congregation thought of him! One of the articles I checked out said that only one of his 19 children attended his funeral. :O

Welsh Girl: Hi! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. :)
That's an interesting question! One wonders. A number of the articles I read intimated that she was a traffic-stopping "looker" in her youth, although her high school yearbook picture didn't scream drop dead gorgeous to me. It seems like a number of the men she married were troubled people themselves--convicts, homeless men, and the like--and troubled people aren't always the best judges of character.

Lisa: Thanks! So I hear, her children were teased mercilessly for the very reason you stated. In one article, she said that only one keeps in touch. (I think there were three or four kids.)

Crystal Monae: Hi, welcome to Singletude! :) I'm sure you're right that she couldn't have gone through life without getting an earful about her quicky marriages from more than one person. It seems like now she's learned her lesson, but you wouldn't think it would take 23 marriages to figure it out!

Special K said...

What are men number 12-24 thinking? "I am her TRUE soul mate"

Clever Elsie said...

Special K: Ha ha! Probably. The challenge of winning and keeping such a {cough} unobtainable woman must've pumped their egos.

Welcome to Singletude, by the way. Hope you'll visit again!